"Grilling! Woodworking!"
"Dad are you ok?~"
"WWII Documentaries! Recliners! Man my back is killing me!"
"Don't let him bite you sweetie"

"Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable"

"Well what DID you vote for? Like what specific policies?" Only to receive a blank stare back.

"They're saying that the cat is too round"
"Hmmm.. It actually looks better that way. Make it ROUNDER!"
"But sir~"
"Don't give me excuses! Give me a sweet potato baby with legs, stat!"

Nothing says "hard" like having multiple little face washes with expensive bottled drinking water. Just like the cavemen did it!

Acapella is at least a skill, like you have to be a good singer. All you need for an improv group is 5 other white people who think they're definitely funny enough to go on stage without a plan