It's just so easy
To be around you

To be in your presence
Is such a gift

The mask can slip
It's no big deal

I can take my time
Running down stairs

To maybe think about
Opening the door

Letting the warm breeze
Of your gentle gaze

Rest on the corner
Of my soul

Sick, sick, sick with dread
Coming to the surface to catch my breath

I don't belong here
Where they rest
And see the sun

Corpse floating to the surface
Decomposing flesh

If you reach in
To save me

I'll drag you down with me

Heart in my throat
Can't swallow it down

If I don't do something
Soon
You'll see it

See me for what I am

Broken
Rotting
Out of control
Expired

So heavy
Dragging me down

Heart in my throat
Can't catch a breath
Can't catch a break

Walking the trail
Each step an impulse
One foot in front of the other

I see the tree in the distance
Your tree, My tree
Our tree

Sunbeams shine down
Illuminate
Giver of life

My spirit wraps
Around the tree
Here, I belong

It's only a season
It's lasted for years

Winter is coming
It's already here

How long must I wait
In this dark, dark cave

Burning and burning
Birthed again and again

Will I ever be strong
Strong to roll away the stone

The stone of my creation
To keep safe, alone

The House is on Fire
The Foundation
Long Cracked
Is Opening Wide
But in that space
Light is Reaching Ground
Hidden for the Last 500 Years
And Soon Green Shoots will Rise

Etched upon my heart,
sweetest music of your mind
enraptures me still

#haiku #poem #poetry #writing

I'm spiraling
into the pit
the hole
the vacuum

scrambling
for a ledge
a vine
something
to hold onto

but there is nothing
where you once were

you left
and disarmed
my sense of self
can't count on you
can't count on me

and I can't stop
this cyclone within
I don't even know
where to begin

#vss365

You never loved me for me
Just what I could give you

Is it my fault
For not letting you in?

How could you love
What you didn't know
Was there

I asked his soul what he had to tell me and it was
Love
All love

Sigh of contentment
So sweet
All sweet

Velvet nose
Wow
How special

Radiating
Golden Light

Wash away the day

How could I be so lucky?

Kiss your soft
Warm
Furry little paw

Bliss

Do cats burp?

I miss being known
The alreadys
The been theres
No surprises
But that's also the sad part
Decomposing
Stirred in the compost
To grow something new
Maybe better
Hopefully better

The more I move
The more I am stuck
I can't outrun
There is no escape
They're always with me

The only control I have is
Changing perspective
Perception
Shape shifting

Maybe it's not so scary
If a good thing is pursuing me

Meeting your gaze is like
staring at the sun

Melting my defenses
Already undone

Vessel running over
Radiating golden warmth

Floating through the doorway
Stoking fires in the hearth

Intertwining streams
Vibrant orange, calming blue

Is it my imagination?
Could it all be coming true?

You remind me I'm safe with your arms around me
The way you look at me- honeysuckle on the breeze

When my tears and my feelings escape their cracked jars
Run through gentle fingers to land on your heart

I'll keep you at arms length

Make sure you can't hurt me
More than I can hurt myself

You don't want to
Get too close anyway

Right?

My fear is gonna kill me
If I don't kill me first

Life has been like this as long as I can tell
I'm not scared of it when I'm already in hell
It's hard to remember those moments that are worth it
Until they come around then the guilt starts to set in

Living on the seam between feeling and not
Numbness that eats me and leaves me to rot
When I feel it all and nothing at once
It's impossible to decide what I want

I haven't seen the sun since I don't know when
It's always been there, can't bring myself to let it in
What relieves and heals only burns my eyes
They keep saying to just give it another try