little drummer boy: i have no gift to give pa rum pum pum pum. shall i play for you on my drum?

doctor: who let this kid in the delivery room?

cabbage?? oh you mean nerd lettuce

[fancy restaurant]

lady: what a wonderful evening

man: honey, you look so beaut-

waiter: *appearing suddenly and clearing throat* sir, all compliments go to the chef

man: *nervously turns* uh, YOU look so...beautiful tonight?

chef from service window: *blushes,giggles, and runs into kitchen*