Me texting my supervisor: hey I don’t wanna beat a dead horse or anything but… there is a dead deer at the office entrance idk if anyone noticed..

My new (least) favorite pastime is taking pictures of inflated prices! I remember when these mirrors were $7.99 at Walmart and soda was $5.99 per case🫠🫠🥲🥲

Tired of always having to offer girls your coat? Get you a woman who knows how to layer

Tobacco patches in the urinal is crime you pay your dues for in karmic hell