Also realizing that the loud minority of trans guys on the internet lamenting about feeling undesirable like its objective fact (it's not) + the cis people around me treating trans men like they're celibate manlets are my OPPS. Fuck those losers

sometimes a small spark ignites inside of me and i let it go out, because I don't know what to do with it. I am scared of being as much of the person others didn't want me to be back then. But even now that I'm scared I still want to try and nurse this flame again

it was all from the people closest to me! the people supposed to uplift and support you! I'm left with this collateral perfectionism and paralysis and I want it to all go away. When I talk with artists I can only feel how much damage was done to me in those years

I was just talking about how it felt good to stay up late and scroll on Pinterest when I said this

Im washing my car right now