@gavindumptruck.bsky.social
Voted edgiest kid in my 6th grade math class.
You're getting a special preview of the hot new sitcom "How I Wet your Mother" when I show up in a rumbling red Ferrari to your mom's work then give her a ride home.
November 23, 2025 at 4:58 AM
You're getting a special preview of the hot new sitcom "How I Wet your Mother" when I show up in a rumbling red Ferrari to your mom's work then give her a ride home.
Five Nights at Freddy's 2, but instead of animatronics, it's different trucks barreling into the office and running you over.
November 16, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Five Nights at Freddy's 2, but instead of animatronics, it's different trucks barreling into the office and running you over.
Cars kinda go vrrrr skr skrrrr wambo vrrrrrrr vrrrrr when they're taking a corner too aggressively, ya know?
October 22, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Cars kinda go vrrrr skr skrrrr wambo vrrrrrrr vrrrrr when they're taking a corner too aggressively, ya know?
I was so unpopular that my mom would have to pack me pb&j sandwiches to school because my jock step-dad would steal my lunch money as I walked out the door.
October 19, 2025 at 4:30 AM
I was so unpopular that my mom would have to pack me pb&j sandwiches to school because my jock step-dad would steal my lunch money as I walked out the door.
My Esports clan will fight any group of dweebs through competitive Animal Crossing.
September 30, 2025 at 6:36 PM
My Esports clan will fight any group of dweebs through competitive Animal Crossing.
Did I purposely spend my whole High School career making memories for me to cringe at when I'm trying to go to bed?
September 25, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Did I purposely spend my whole High School career making memories for me to cringe at when I'm trying to go to bed?
What would MAD magazine say about this political climate?
September 21, 2025 at 11:58 AM
What would MAD magazine say about this political climate?
Play this in the hood and watch gang violence drop overnight.
September 1, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Play this in the hood and watch gang violence drop overnight.
I got a faith-based prop comedy act that is gonna guarantee me a spot in Heaven y'all.
August 30, 2025 at 10:17 PM
I got a faith-based prop comedy act that is gonna guarantee me a spot in Heaven y'all.
My friends should be paying Bluesky a monthly fee for all the stupid thoughts that it has redirected from our group chat and instead let rot on this app's servers.
August 20, 2025 at 9:11 PM
My friends should be paying Bluesky a monthly fee for all the stupid thoughts that it has redirected from our group chat and instead let rot on this app's servers.
Even haters gotta call me the 21st-century Bruno Mars with how I nail those sultry notes on Singstar.
August 17, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Even haters gotta call me the 21st-century Bruno Mars with how I nail those sultry notes on Singstar.
I can be your Reddit husband, condescendingly explaining each joke to you as we watch Rick & Morty together on our honeymoon.
August 17, 2025 at 6:51 PM
I can be your Reddit husband, condescendingly explaining each joke to you as we watch Rick & Morty together on our honeymoon.
I'm one hour into owning a gaming PC and I'm already feeling smuggly superior to console plebs. If you've ever owned so much as a 3DS and you're reading this, you owe me a 3-page apology for holding back gaming as we know it. Font: Comic Sans, Size: 12 pt, and remember to cite your sources.
August 12, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I'm one hour into owning a gaming PC and I'm already feeling smuggly superior to console plebs. If you've ever owned so much as a 3DS and you're reading this, you owe me a 3-page apology for holding back gaming as we know it. Font: Comic Sans, Size: 12 pt, and remember to cite your sources.
Look at this gosh darn cat.
August 5, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Look at this gosh darn cat.
My tongue is a machine that turns gamer girls' Used condition Q-Tips into Like New condition Q-Tips.
August 2, 2025 at 2:14 AM
My tongue is a machine that turns gamer girls' Used condition Q-Tips into Like New condition Q-Tips.
It's almost like Dante's Inferno the way I'm guiding my NSA agent down the nine circles of incognito tabs in this half-hearted JO session.
July 29, 2025 at 12:02 AM
It's almost like Dante's Inferno the way I'm guiding my NSA agent down the nine circles of incognito tabs in this half-hearted JO session.
Going to a movie theater alone is an experience. This isn't a joke about loneliness or anything. You don't need to bring anyone, just go by yourself and have fun.
July 21, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Going to a movie theater alone is an experience. This isn't a joke about loneliness or anything. You don't need to bring anyone, just go by yourself and have fun.
I used to think those "Kindness. Pass it on." billboards were a bizarre waste of money, but as I've grown and interacted with the public, I think a fair number of people need a 14 by 48 foot unmissable reminder to not be an asshole.
July 14, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I used to think those "Kindness. Pass it on." billboards were a bizarre waste of money, but as I've grown and interacted with the public, I think a fair number of people need a 14 by 48 foot unmissable reminder to not be an asshole.
Hawk Tuah shit on that carpet 😏
July 12, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Hawk Tuah shit on that carpet 😏
Someone close to Elon Musk should convince him to write, fund, and produce an anti-woke sitcom. The aim should be a conservative Rick & Morty with the product ending as an incomprehensible hell concoction of Big Bang Theory, Last Man Standing, and his stint on Saturday Night Live.
July 8, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Someone close to Elon Musk should convince him to write, fund, and produce an anti-woke sitcom. The aim should be a conservative Rick & Morty with the product ending as an incomprehensible hell concoction of Big Bang Theory, Last Man Standing, and his stint on Saturday Night Live.
This generation of consoles are clawing at one another to be the most B-tier electronic on the market.
July 7, 2025 at 5:58 PM
This generation of consoles are clawing at one another to be the most B-tier electronic on the market.
I wish animals could speak. My cat would talk so much shit on Call of Duty.
July 5, 2025 at 4:00 PM
I wish animals could speak. My cat would talk so much shit on Call of Duty.
Guitar Hero, but the tracklist is exclusively edgy trap songs by 10th graders that were dredged from the most unlistened to corners of 2014 SoundCloud.
July 4, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Guitar Hero, but the tracklist is exclusively edgy trap songs by 10th graders that were dredged from the most unlistened to corners of 2014 SoundCloud.
At this point, I'm just waiting for a Republican Senator to personally break into my home, stab me, then steal my valuables so they can Zelle an oil CEO some money.
July 4, 2025 at 1:34 AM
At this point, I'm just waiting for a Republican Senator to personally break into my home, stab me, then steal my valuables so they can Zelle an oil CEO some money.
Get me on that libertarian shit that's against speed limits in school zones.
June 30, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Get me on that libertarian shit that's against speed limits in school zones.