I yell this into deaf ears seemingly daily. This doesn’t end, until that is understood. The rest is a horrific distraction.

We had the only things we needed - an open mind, kindness, compassion, and curiosity. Universal humanity. Transcending cultures and genders and ages. I cherish that evening and I am thankful for it.

And Nitin would get embarrassed by my American forwardness and elbow me in my side. We had a few beers, and ate the cashews that my Dad would send me every year, served in a nice bowl like my mom taught me. We laughed, and reminisced, and connected. We had nothing in common on paper, and yet

Nitin was obsessed with green bean casserole, which I felt also defied the odds. Haha We had a lovely dinner and then hung out talking and playing music. I had never met anyone from Afghanistan. I learned his father was a blacksmith. He had a wife and daughter back home. I asked questions,

Nitin was from India. His mom was a widow who managed to defy all odds and get both of her children to the US to study and live. Despite our age and cultural differences we became fast friends. One holiday I cooked a traditional American feast and invited them to my home to celebrate…

So thank you to everyone who is paying attention while those of who care deeply, cannot. It is so appreciated.

I care about it all. And it’s all a lot.

I came home tonight to an unannounced packed of photographs of me and my dead dad. And a text from a family member about my mom. I wish the government could just stop being an asshole and I could breathe. No

It’s something. But almost nothing. If he wanted to he would. #metoo

I had a whole second point about accountability, but I’m tired.

Thank you for this 💕

Quality? It feels like medical focus is all on quantity. We have this wild system of assisted living and memory care that is expensive and awful. Why?! Maybe I just want to have the best 5-10 next years possible? Obviously it’s all about liability. Or maybe not? Anyhoo, frustrating.

Why can’t I chose? Why can’t I go on HRT and take my chances? What are you “saving” me from and how would you even know? Because you don’t. And I really liked her. It’s not her. It’s the system. Do this and be quiet. Be content. You’re alive. Yes, and so what? What if I want more? What about…

At least when it’s you. When it’s you the stats have so little meaning. Maybe they always do? But meeting with my new oncologist today just got to me in light of everything else. I wanted to yell, but is this so because of insurance and capitalism and the patriarchy, or is there evidence? And also…

If ever