Every time I see someone filling up a jerry can at a petrol station I assume they are off to burn a body, so I make a mental note of their physical appearance and license plate in case I'm ever called to give testimony at the ensuing trial.

Two 12 year old children just saluted me as I drove past and I cooly saluted them back with a flourish and drove on. I have no idea what just happened but I feel like a fucking legend.