Gabe
gabealmazan.bsky.social
Gabe
@gabealmazan.bsky.social
Music composer & performer
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Last couple times i’ve left america a trump presidency has followed, so can’t help but feel y’all need me
December 18, 2025 at 10:16 AM
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Can anyone advise on what to do if you’re targeted by pestilence and/or plague
December 10, 2025 at 9:36 PM
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Oh nooo what if i lose my job to the bot that goes crying to the nearest human because “return a different item” is too novel & what if correcting the inaccuracies of the literacy allergic Nazi digital composter for D students & incels is faster than not doing that
December 7, 2025 at 1:26 AM
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Ok i’ll just admit, i have never had any idea what was up with those boat guys in mary poppins
December 3, 2025 at 8:29 PM
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“Bubba” the musical, coming to Broadway in the summer of 2325, where AI presents the political history of 2025 United States and the question that occupied the discourse of “Clinton or horse”
November 20, 2025 at 4:15 PM
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It soothes my bitter heart to know that no matter how much money Elon Musk has, he will never, ever be funny

t.co/QhuKU9HCxA
November 13, 2025 at 9:59 PM
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Got my breathing app on easy mode, no time for lung capacity in this economy
November 11, 2025 at 10:43 PM
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This has to stop happening, are you SURE dick cheney wasn’t already dead?
November 4, 2025 at 4:48 PM
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Is it still called a midlife crisis if the only planet i can breathe on won’t last past my 40s
October 22, 2025 at 7:59 PM
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READING IS NOT HARD

WHAT’S HARD IS FINDING A WEBSITE YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW THE URL TO

CAN THE INTERNET JUST LET US FIND THE THINGS AGAIN
October 18, 2025 at 7:20 PM
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I miss when the idiot box was the tv & not the global network of all human knowledge & contribution
October 14, 2025 at 4:44 PM
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If you name your robot vacuum, you like slavery
October 8, 2025 at 9:25 PM
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Hold up i was still getting fat from when we were doing body positivity & y’all changed it on me
October 7, 2025 at 7:31 PM
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If you say “we live in hell, how bout you?” using the same tone as “i’m doing fine, how bout you” you will find that it works & is the correct answer
October 7, 2025 at 4:49 PM
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Who’s got a good boy screener, i’m not gonna drive 100 miles & breathe common air with the masses for a horror movie
October 4, 2025 at 12:59 PM
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Are movie screeners still a thing
October 4, 2025 at 12:53 PM
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I was only offered $2.6 million to perform at the riyadh comedy festival, i told them i’m past needing gigs for exposure but i’ll consider doing next year if they can offer the incommunicado detention of some of this year’s lineup
September 28, 2025 at 4:51 PM
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The midnight suns game gets unhinged after the story’s finished, everyone meanders without purpose & casually reveals secrets

Did you know that ghost rider & captain america are the woke mob
September 26, 2025 at 9:15 PM
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Learned that people eat salad before dinner to flatten blood glucose spikes, I always thought it was because they’re stupid & wrong
September 19, 2025 at 10:13 PM
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Throughout school my clock radio alarm woke me up with jimmy kimmel’s voice, you know the world is upside down when i have to defend the free speech of the guy i was literally programmed to despise
September 18, 2025 at 7:40 AM
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Proving adulthood to the government by entering credit card details &/or face into social media & porno websites, how could it go wrong
August 17, 2025 at 11:34 PM
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Sorry i missed your DMs, i live in the united kingdom & had to verify that i'm an adult with my credit card which allows me to go into debt like any mature adult
August 17, 2025 at 11:31 PM
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This is still one of the most unhinged moments in television
Why don’t you know my 3rd love language out of the 5 total love languages, it is also my 3rd from the bottom, why don’t you know it & make me feel special
June 13, 2025 at 6:36 PM
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What a fabulous user experience i am having on the information highway closing pop-ups, declining cookies, Xing out chatbots before i have free space to click. We’re in the music autoplaying sheep throwing clippy era of using a goddamn browser, LET ME CLICK
June 21, 2025 at 6:10 PM
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If you’re a marine & follow orders to be deployed in LA you’re not allowed to watch movies anymore
June 9, 2025 at 8:39 PM