… as with many things it started with swearing. Then swearing in front of college students. Then swearing while drunk in front of nurses. Then I got asked to write a couple of papers, ended with a sweary chapter in a social work textbook.

Crippling social anxiety and kung fu existential grip.

Frankly it’s evolved for me into a kind of day filled with stories I tell myself about the sounds of laughter, the outrageous weekends, the family I created while trying to not remember they’re all in graves. Because. Damn we laughed. Dancing through hell with a Donna Summer song thumping.

As a poz person and a writer, as a gay man who lived through the 80s, as a person who worked in AIDS research organizations for close to 30 years… my grief and story often ends up feeling like a panto for other people on Dec 1st.

I mean the asshole is silently implied. We have been together 24 years.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. 🤗

Yeah yeah he’s nice but the blog dude. lol

I hear my own husband in this. 🤣

Also been absent from other social media sites recently so it’s great to see you again. Definitely happy making.

First.. it took a bit to realize you didn’t mean mask in the autism/social way.

Second, I tend to agree with a thing I read saying it’s a reaction to a choice they made differently and they feel the need to belittle the other choice to self soothe they were right. It’s weird, honestly but fits?

Also why has it become an expectation that anything and everything done, metaphorically or literally outside your home, must consider, include, educate, counsel, console every other fecking person on the planet first? We’re allowed to exist and move about this world for ourselves too, surprisingly.

I haven’t even officially been diagnosed with long COVID but it’s pretty clear that’s why I’m on disability now. But no one seems to want to do more than conversationally mutter, oh it’s obvious. No investigation, referrals, nothing. Actually was told to take walks and have I considered meditation?

Went onto long term disability (long list of sudden health issues). The job and the people I’d worked for close to thirty years vanished overnight. My career ended. My social circle vanished. It’s been crickets ever since. I FEEL this.