Just note the Democrats could do everything in their power and still fail to stop the fascist administrative coup. I'd still like them to actually DO THAT, though.

I like quite a few Americans but one foot over the line to bring that bullshit up here…

Having my usual wake up after an hour, wander to the living room thing when… I realize fuck it.

Glass of Baileys and turn the tree lights to twinkle, fuckers. It’s reel time.

As a kid it was for these moments that I’d sneak off to the tree, alone. At night. There was magic in the colors, the lights, the quiet.

Now I’m a grown ass man of 52, in my own home. Sneaking out of bed for a little taste of it. Laughing my fat ass off, hoping my husband doesn’t ever realize.

Oh shit. Almost forgot. Need to dig out Susan Coopers Dark is Rising. Almost that time of year!

I keep trying to think of cute/funny things to write up but I feel like I’m barely holding above the wave. I wish I could show that side of me. I’m actually pretty funny.

Is that part of people pleasing? Like me I’m adorable?!? 🤣 I promise. My husband says so. And he’s totally a real person.

About two years ago I ran into a thought that completely changed my perspective. “Angry black woman”. Suddenly I was realizing, from one backyard over, I was often thrown into “angry homo”.

Tomorrow is world AIDS day and I can’t tell you the number of dance numbers I’ve been asked to perform.

I am aware I have issues. But. I want to be clear it’s waaay worse than you think.

Just pointing out that’s 5 one thousand strand boxes. And the big box. And then….

For a smaller tree I’m assuming I can bury the husband as well.

SPARKLE, husband. Sparkle.

Blockity block block. Two seconds into looking at their ytube channel and I see complaints about woke Dragon Age for having a trans character.

The how and why I skipped out on, I don’t give a shit. We done here.

Just got my new tree. Artificial, under five feet, prelit. Not bad.

Basically trying to navigate healthy relationship stuff. Husband loathes lights, let alone the rest. I love. Figuring out how to downsize but also still get joy for me without “fuck you, asshole” slipped in.

So far.. ok?

I won’t say it’s any sort of privilege but I will say a lot of what frustrates me these days are people who’ve never been part of a minority and/or targeted having conversations about “people aren’t that bad, everything will be fine if we just trust”

Well… no. It’s a lifetime of being Cassandra.

Need something to hide in, over the T'giving holiday*? I've put a few of my favorite projects on sale for $2.99! (digital only) No need to sit and listen to your relatives argue — escape to a spare room and read!

*or, for those outside the US, hiding from the news in general.

Links in 🧵.

Husband and I (not actually married) have been together for 24 yrs. On his way home tonight as usual he asked what I wanted.. I joked Baileys. He showed up with a bottle.

Sighing I said, well then.. and made the motion of collecting my (nonexistent) hair into a ponytail. He went so red laughing.

I think the energy I needed most is the weaponized bless your heart of it all, here. The late 80s early 90s of the queer community that swore you killed off all the nice gays, you’re stuck with us, version of going through hell together. Tonnes of kindness but distinct lack of fucks or nice. ❤️

So it took a week and help from my husband but I made sugar cookies.

I eat my feelings, sue me.

But the problem? There’s no adult supervision. It’s me. I’m the adult supervision.

I’m not sure why we bothered with dinner. It’s just cookies on down.

Really. We need an adultier adult. Or not.

The struggle this year is some of the things that are my comfort food of items are Christmasy. I’d love this to be a safe space for any culture. But I’d also like to quietly curate a few things that are part of that effort to feel… something. I’ve no idea how to do that.

Having a nostalgia heavy wind up to the holidays, which as usual lead to a rabbit hole.

Those ornaments I loved? Shiny Brite, an Americana staple of the forties through sixties. I found a set of the ones I remember, sure, but I just did a bunch of reading on WW2 impacts on ornament making.

One of the toughest things I’m dealing with is I process through talking. Or writing as it may be. But in the last year and a half of being forcibly retired due to medical reasons the silence of known individuals has been loud.

I don’t feel safe talking into the void when people I know can see.

Not presently super interactive on social media but if I want to continue to read some of my favourite people, here I am.

So hi. 👋