Futurepoop
@futurepoop.bsky.social
It me, Futurepoop.
Fantasy football addict #SFB, cursed #Bears + #Bulls fan, The Disco Biscuits are the greatest band on the planet #B4L, aspiring #BBQ connoisseur
Fantasy football addict #SFB, cursed #Bears + #Bulls fan, The Disco Biscuits are the greatest band on the planet #B4L, aspiring #BBQ connoisseur
headline here tells a different story than the guts of the research
November 20, 2025 at 4:21 PM
headline here tells a different story than the guts of the research
this is how my dad emails me after he drinks 23 molson ices on a wednesday night
November 12, 2025 at 10:02 PM
this is how my dad emails me after he drinks 23 molson ices on a wednesday night
Ilana Glazer showing up on a random Elmo episode was a nice surprise hanging with the kiddo. I miss Broad City
November 8, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Ilana Glazer showing up on a random Elmo episode was a nice surprise hanging with the kiddo. I miss Broad City
Today I learned that many of you think taking your shoes off on a plane is disgusting. This one’s for you... 😘
October 21, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Today I learned that many of you think taking your shoes off on a plane is disgusting. This one’s for you... 😘
Yeah I’m 3 beers deep at the airport at 11:45am, but I’m not drunk enough to buy a hotdog with onions and relish and put it in a brown paper bag (now vertical on top of her carry on) to bring it on an airplane 🤦♂️. Gotta love Philly
October 21, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Yeah I’m 3 beers deep at the airport at 11:45am, but I’m not drunk enough to buy a hotdog with onions and relish and put it in a brown paper bag (now vertical on top of her carry on) to bring it on an airplane 🤦♂️. Gotta love Philly
When my toddler has chocolate all over his face and I ask him who ate the cookies:
October 15, 2025 at 9:17 PM
When my toddler has chocolate all over his face and I ask him who ate the cookies:
DJ Moore hates Caleb Williams
October 14, 2025 at 2:34 AM
DJ Moore hates Caleb Williams
Literally just cause this stretch of games his rookie year
October 14, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Literally just cause this stretch of games his rookie year
As a Bears fan I try to make it a point to not play Packers players in fantasy. I broke my own rule this week and started the Green Bay Defense who went on to score -4.4 points. I lost my matchup by 2. 🫠
September 30, 2025 at 12:15 PM
As a Bears fan I try to make it a point to not play Packers players in fantasy. I broke my own rule this week and started the Green Bay Defense who went on to score -4.4 points. I lost my matchup by 2. 🫠
The more I think about the more I really appreciate Ben Johnson completely stuntin on Eberflus. Trick plays, 11 runs in a row, he was embarrassing him and I really needed that
September 22, 2025 at 12:46 AM
The more I think about the more I really appreciate Ben Johnson completely stuntin on Eberflus. Trick plays, 11 runs in a row, he was embarrassing him and I really needed that
And then there was one. Last pear of the season. It was a good one too
September 21, 2025 at 1:11 PM
And then there was one. Last pear of the season. It was a good one too
Nothing wakes you up more quickly than accidentally hitting the wrong button on your bidet remote when you go to dry off
#MyBallsAreWet
#MyBallsAreWet
September 20, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Nothing wakes you up more quickly than accidentally hitting the wrong button on your bidet remote when you go to dry off
#MyBallsAreWet
#MyBallsAreWet
Did I just hear that?! 🤣
September 19, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Did I just hear that?! 🤣
I’m high and decided to put a pepper from my szechuan takeout in my bourbon. It’s low key bangin
September 13, 2025 at 11:06 PM
I’m high and decided to put a pepper from my szechuan takeout in my bourbon. It’s low key bangin
This feels like a fake name
September 9, 2025 at 11:08 PM
This feels like a fake name
Ran into this vendor with my father in law today. Felt appropriate
September 6, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Ran into this vendor with my father in law today. Felt appropriate
Can’t believe I forgot to take a pic pre slice. My bad. Juggling a lot of things between cooking, fantasy football draft, and being hammered. Porchetta was incredible
August 31, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Can’t believe I forgot to take a pic pre slice. My bad. Juggling a lot of things between cooking, fantasy football draft, and being hammered. Porchetta was incredible
Good morning, America. It’s Draft Day. Best day of the year.
August 31, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Good morning, America. It’s Draft Day. Best day of the year.
I really hope this meat log of pork belly turns out good 😳
August 30, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I really hope this meat log of pork belly turns out good 😳