If I had a nickel for every problem I’ve had since I woke up I’d have like eight nickels help my life is falling apart

Trans adhd is weird, one minute we want nothing but to cuddle until the heat death of the universe, the next we’re off to make destructive devices and plot the secession of a coastal region where the national flag is just 🏳️‍⚧️

i think there’s a version of me that lives in california and is really good at guitar and has a moderately successful music project and is a significantly worse person

Y’all ever get in a really good stretch and someone asks you a question but the stretch is already in motion and you can’t put it out of motion, so you’re straining to even think of an answer? And when you’ve formulated one, it’s like trying to talk while lifting weights? Yea same

"we dont need gifs on bluesky" just say you hate me. just say you want me to get hit by a bus. just say you would throw me down a well if you could

PSA don’t open a dating app Dm with “hi” because if you accidentally call me a ho you’re not getting lucky

Fucccc it started hailing this morning right when I woke up and I had to scramble to get my car covered

I think parody accounts don't work on bluesky because on twitter we were used to constantly being exposed to the worst pieces of shit on the planet but on here we just don't want to see their fucking faces at all

I wanna bark and bite my gf but noooooo I have to have fuckin two legs and make person sounds “yes I think I will pay my taxes today” what a miserable experience

I just don’t know how to start… (And that’s exactly how it started.)