@fuguttx.bsky.social
Scientist, bird enjoyer, poison plant enthusiast 🌒🌕🌘
I’ve already eaten more than half, I might as well just finish it, no point in saving it as leftovers and I hate to let good food go to waste.
December 19, 2025 at 8:24 PM
I’ve already eaten more than half, I might as well just finish it, no point in saving it as leftovers and I hate to let good food go to waste.
What if this whole time I was made of cake? Would I even know? There is only one truth and it is the truth of the knife. All is revealed to be a lie until the knife has its beautiful moment of clarity……
(****update: not cake. Should have known from all the time I’ve cut myself while cooking. Oops)
(****update: not cake. Should have known from all the time I’ve cut myself while cooking. Oops)
November 13, 2025 at 1:09 PM
What if this whole time I was made of cake? Would I even know? There is only one truth and it is the truth of the knife. All is revealed to be a lie until the knife has its beautiful moment of clarity……
(****update: not cake. Should have known from all the time I’ve cut myself while cooking. Oops)
(****update: not cake. Should have known from all the time I’ve cut myself while cooking. Oops)
Mmmm can’t wait to eat these delicious lumps and slab!
November 3, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Mmmm can’t wait to eat these delicious lumps and slab!
I like to live every day like its Halloween: by pretending to be something I'm not and harassing strangers for candy.
October 31, 2025 at 10:29 AM
I like to live every day like its Halloween: by pretending to be something I'm not and harassing strangers for candy.
My cat when he decides it’s time for pets.
October 16, 2025 at 1:13 PM
My cat when he decides it’s time for pets.
My kids trying to stop me from going through their Halloween candy.
October 15, 2025 at 11:24 AM
My kids trying to stop me from going through their Halloween candy.
“Be careful, lemon balm likes to spread”
That’s fine, I have it contained in a pot on my cement patio
Lemon balm: “haha! Jokes on you idiot! I fucking love cement!”
That’s fine, I have it contained in a pot on my cement patio
Lemon balm: “haha! Jokes on you idiot! I fucking love cement!”
October 14, 2025 at 6:44 PM
“Be careful, lemon balm likes to spread”
That’s fine, I have it contained in a pot on my cement patio
Lemon balm: “haha! Jokes on you idiot! I fucking love cement!”
That’s fine, I have it contained in a pot on my cement patio
Lemon balm: “haha! Jokes on you idiot! I fucking love cement!”
Sure, you COULD say I have “IBS”. Or you could alternatively say I have “dumps like a truck (truck, truck) guts like what (what, what) gotta move my butt (butt, butt) Uh I think I’ll sing it again!”
Doctor: no, it’s the former, you need to see a specialist…… possibly two specialists 🤨
Doctor: no, it’s the former, you need to see a specialist…… possibly two specialists 🤨
September 30, 2025 at 11:58 AM
Sure, you COULD say I have “IBS”. Or you could alternatively say I have “dumps like a truck (truck, truck) guts like what (what, what) gotta move my butt (butt, butt) Uh I think I’ll sing it again!”
Doctor: no, it’s the former, you need to see a specialist…… possibly two specialists 🤨
Doctor: no, it’s the former, you need to see a specialist…… possibly two specialists 🤨
The foie gras is flown in from Paris fresh daily. It is served over a fall apple gastrique and topped with a celery root foam. Or for our more discerning guests who choose to “live mas” for an additional 99 cents it can be made “loco” and topped with either cool ranch or nacho cheese dust.
September 14, 2025 at 2:50 PM
The foie gras is flown in from Paris fresh daily. It is served over a fall apple gastrique and topped with a celery root foam. Or for our more discerning guests who choose to “live mas” for an additional 99 cents it can be made “loco” and topped with either cool ranch or nacho cheese dust.
If the infinite worlds hypothesis is correct there is probably a universe where peanut butter Twix went on to beat out caramel Twix as the predominant Twix and I just hope the me that lives in that reality realizes how lucky he is.
September 9, 2025 at 2:38 PM
If the infinite worlds hypothesis is correct there is probably a universe where peanut butter Twix went on to beat out caramel Twix as the predominant Twix and I just hope the me that lives in that reality realizes how lucky he is.
Me: I am wholy consumed by an existential crisis. I feel as if my soul itself is tired, and there is a vital piece of me that is missing. Nothing has any meaning and I am uncertain about my place in the world.
Sigmund Freud: Yes, I have a treatment that I believe can help you with that:
Sigmund Freud: Yes, I have a treatment that I believe can help you with that:
September 9, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Me: I am wholy consumed by an existential crisis. I feel as if my soul itself is tired, and there is a vital piece of me that is missing. Nothing has any meaning and I am uncertain about my place in the world.
Sigmund Freud: Yes, I have a treatment that I believe can help you with that:
Sigmund Freud: Yes, I have a treatment that I believe can help you with that:
September is just the warm-up for October.
September 8, 2025 at 1:51 PM
September is just the warm-up for October.
I have not been in school in a long time, but there is something about this time of year that activates a remembered dread that reactivates anxieties of the past and reminds me that I would not go back to that time for anything in the world. Anyway, enjoy your first day of school kids
September 7, 2025 at 12:28 PM
I have not been in school in a long time, but there is something about this time of year that activates a remembered dread that reactivates anxieties of the past and reminds me that I would not go back to that time for anything in the world. Anyway, enjoy your first day of school kids
I would have made a really good old timey lighthouse keeper.
September 7, 2025 at 12:25 PM
I would have made a really good old timey lighthouse keeper.
That’s too many leches!
August 31, 2025 at 5:23 PM
That’s too many leches!
Hey do you guys remember away messages? Ha! Remember when there was a time when you were actually away from the internet instead of now where it's always in your pocket, always waiting, always there, always watching, never alone......always. Ahhhh nostalgia.
August 29, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Hey do you guys remember away messages? Ha! Remember when there was a time when you were actually away from the internet instead of now where it's always in your pocket, always waiting, always there, always watching, never alone......always. Ahhhh nostalgia.
I dunno there is just something unwholesome about a man driving around in a car with no shirt on.
August 29, 2025 at 3:35 PM
I dunno there is just something unwholesome about a man driving around in a car with no shirt on.
This is the future liberals want! And by liberals, I mean me. This is the future I want.
August 29, 2025 at 3:34 PM
This is the future liberals want! And by liberals, I mean me. This is the future I want.
The Whammy was created in a Chinese lab to be used as a weapon against America. Keeping him locked up in that gameshow board is the only way to keep us all safe.
August 22, 2025 at 11:30 AM
The Whammy was created in a Chinese lab to be used as a weapon against America. Keeping him locked up in that gameshow board is the only way to keep us all safe.
Working on my dating profile: Body type? I'd say jumbled up mix of pig parts in a soggy cardboard box. Is that an option? You can check off the same thing for personality too.
August 15, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Working on my dating profile: Body type? I'd say jumbled up mix of pig parts in a soggy cardboard box. Is that an option? You can check off the same thing for personality too.
You show me a man who claims to not appreciate the mysterious splendor of the narwhal and I will show you a liar.
August 7, 2025 at 6:30 PM
You show me a man who claims to not appreciate the mysterious splendor of the narwhal and I will show you a liar.
