Lord Tentacles
freths.bsky.social
Lord Tentacles
@freths.bsky.social
Meet Lord Tentacles, a leader whose "natural emissions" clear rooms faster than decisions. Draped in a struggling suit, everyone who meets him must breathe in his farts—an experience that brings tears to the eyes. Breathe in if you dare.
January 19th: TikTok banned. Gen Z wails, “HOW WILL I LEARN LIFE SKILLS?” Bluesky’s Lord Tentecales grabs a crown: “Your dances are mine now!” Influencers panic, Boomers cheer, and Instagram offers awkward hugs. Meanwhile, the octopus rules, sipping tea like, “Finally, my moment!"
#tiktokban
#funny
December 6, 2024 at 9:28 PM
Experience required for every job, but no one tells you how to get it. Volunteering? Can’t do that when gas costs a limb. And building projects for 'experience'? Sure, let me just create a startup in my basement. At this rate, I’ll hire myself.

#fyp #job #work #Lord_Tentacles #hired
November 26, 2024 at 3:30 AM
Before you go to bed tonight, check your draws. If there are any brown streaks wet or dry, toss it in the washer. Then take a shower and do a "DEEP CLEANING". Then dry off, and put on a new pair. You'll thank me later.
November 20, 2024 at 1:36 AM
These jobs need to start hiring people. People need help. They shouldn't have to apply to thousands of jobs.. America, Get it together!
November 18, 2024 at 2:49 PM
Dear Corporate America,

Tonight’s special: A grilled lipoma, charred like your bloated hiring practices. Sides of crispy sebaceous filaments (your 'equal opportunity' lies) & blackhead nuggets (ATS scams). You wanted automation? Wash it down with your tears. Dessert’s a pink slip. #fyp #eat #food
November 18, 2024 at 12:17 AM
People love saying, ‘Get a job!’ but never tell you how to level up. Then when layoffs hit, it’s just ‘Keep applying, you’ll find one.’ Three years later, still no job, and that’s their advice? Nah, tell people how you’re really making money so they’re not stuck in dead-end jobs forever.
November 17, 2024 at 9:46 PM
🚨BREAKING NEWS 🚨

People need to do better. If someone doesn’t get it, don’t look at them crazy—just say, ‘Hey, could you repeat that?’ Hold their hand if needed! Stop tossing folks into the deep end like, ‘Here you go, figure it out.’ Life isn’t a game of sink or swim!
November 17, 2024 at 9:43 PM
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if you think farts are childish, HOLD IT IN. I don’t want to hear no squealing, no sniggering—not even if you’re alone at home. Hold it in while you sit, while you sleep, forever.

#Relatable #Comedy #RealTalk #LOL #BlueSkyFun
November 17, 2024 at 1:07 PM
People say farts are childish. Okay, hold yours in for life then. No slips, no squeaks—just clench forever. If you can’t, stop judging and embrace the puff. 💨 #Relatable #Funny #LetItGo #Discoverme
November 17, 2024 at 1:01 PM
People say farts are childish, immature, and for kids. Grow up, they say. Well, if that’s how you feel, why not prove it? Be a real man and hold it in. No matter how bad it gets, just sit there, clenching, forever. Not one puff of gas for the rest of your life. Let’s see how grown-up you really are👀
November 17, 2024 at 12:58 PM
🚨Breaking News!🚨

Lord Tentacles just invented a new cologne: Eau de Fart. Warning: Side effects include tears, regret, and questioning your life choices. 💨👃 #SmellThePower
November 17, 2024 at 12:50 PM
Looks like everyone’s out here posting things I don’t understand—so I thought, why not join the party? Here’s my contribution: Did you know my left sock once ran away because my fart offended it? Yeah, I’m still waiting for the apology. Carry on, mysterious posters. 💨👀 #LOL #funny #fyp
November 17, 2024 at 12:34 PM
🚨 Breaking News from Lord Tentacles 🚨

I boo booed… did you smell it? If not, consider yourself lucky. If you did, congratulations—you’ve just joined the elite club of my stink survivors.

Comment below: Did YOU catch a whiff of greatness, or are you running for fresh air? 💨

#LordTentacles #fyp
November 17, 2024 at 10:55 AM
If you can smell what Lord Tentacles is cooking… congratulations, you’ve survived the first date. The secret ingredient? Regret and last night’s chili.

#LordTentacles
#DatingWithStyle
#FartChallenge
#StinkEmpire
#ComedyGold
#LaughOutLoud
#SmellYouLater
#SniffTest
#OdorOverload
#EpicFails
November 17, 2024 at 9:03 AM
🚨 Lord Tentacles Is Here 🚨

I’m Lord Tentacles, King of Stink and CEO of Office Odor Inc. My office smells so bad, people forget names. Want $500K? Sit in my stink cloud, sell jars of my farts, and survive. No breaks, no escape—just you, my smell, and a paycheck.

#LordTentacles #FartBoss 💨
November 17, 2024 at 1:32 AM
🚨 Lord Tentacles Has Arrived 🚨

I am Lord Tentacles, Overlord of Odor and CEO of Office Odor Mayhem Inc. My farts are legendary—tears will fall, noses will burn, and I sit proud. Want $500,000? Breathe my fumes and sell jars of farts. Follow me if you dare and enter my stinky empire. 💨
November 17, 2024 at 1:26 AM
🚨 A Message from Lord Tentacles 🚨

I am Lord Tentacles, Overlord of Odor and CEO of Office Odor Mayhem Inc. Want $500,000? Breathe in my fumes all day. The smell won’t leave, and neither can you! Your job? Sell my jars of farts to the general public.

Will you do it?
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.
.
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#fyp #squidward #farts
November 17, 2024 at 1:23 AM
Hmm, stinky smells are a thing? #fart #smelly #funny #burps
November 17, 2024 at 12:24 AM
Bluesky is the 'quiet quitting' of social media. #SocialMediaShift

#FromXtoBlue

#BlueskyDrama

#HotTakesInNewPlaces

#Xodus
November 17, 2024 at 12:22 AM
November 17, 2024 at 12:20 AM
When you try to sneak out a silent one in a crowded bar but it ends up being a LOUD, smelly betrayal. Sorry, folks, I’m blaming the guy next to me. #BarFarts #SilentButDeadlyFail #TooMuchTacoTuesday #Funny #fyp
November 17, 2024 at 12:13 AM
I'm delighted to find out that my farts can be smelled worldwide. Take a deep breath.
November 17, 2024 at 12:08 AM