imagine talking shit about me and I'm just in my room floating horizontally above my bed while I sleep

wtf is intimacy without commitment I will curse your bloodline

🐈‍⬛🤍

For all my followers on bsky.app:

if anyone ever came over and threw my stuffed animals off my bed i would never speak to them ever again. that’s their home :(

Thou shalt not kill' also means 'thou shalt not let profit margins decide who lives and who dies.'

We're in lockdown because of the Malibu fires. Please stay safe everyone!

I'm not allowed to leave the house, which fits in perfectly with my elderly-recluse lifestyle.

one time my brother knocked over the elf on the shelf and our cousin started crying cause the elf loses it's magic if touched so we put a salt circle around it, held hands and made up a chant to revive the elf and his powers and that’s the story of how we saved christmas with witchcraft

hot chocolate on a cold winter’s day, you will always be famous

manspreading in the electric chair

he’s not ready for you yet babygirl, he’s only experienced 2g of shrooms worth of empathy

I need a couple big strong henchmen with unwavering loyalty to do silly little deeds for me

⚔️⚔️⚔️🔥

Here are a few years of #krampus Cards. (I make a new one each year)