Sam Is On The Bluesky
fractalchainsaw.bsky.social
Sam Is On The Bluesky
@fractalchainsaw.bsky.social
The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born. Now is the time of monsters.
Pinned
A group of wizards is called a staff meeting.
"Bill Clinton getting a blowjob" is having a real Saturn's Return.
November 15, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Look at all this momentum the Democrats have from last week's election victories! Surely they won't squander it immediately.
November 10, 2025 at 5:16 PM
No News November. Just... just give us a few weeks off.
November 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Turns out Dick Cheney was a blood sacrifice on the altar of progressivism.
November 5, 2025 at 3:58 PM
"Should our party be representative of its voters, or--hear me out--should our voters fuck off until we need them on *our* terms?" --Chuck Schumer, probably
November 4, 2025 at 4:21 PM
I was woken this morning by a booming voice from below. "Thus the pact is ended," it spake.
November 4, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I said I'd never do #Warhammer40k again and it turns out I LIED. But at least now I'm better at painting.
October 29, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Your son has a massive cocaine problem.
Biden: I'm going to help my son get the support he needs.
Trump: I'm going to attack the cocaine.

Americans need everyday support.
Biden: I'm going to help the Americans get the support they need.
Trump: I'm going to attack the Americans.
October 25, 2025 at 8:38 PM
I genuinely feel like the Biden administration didn't even happen.
October 25, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I want to see @realrichardkind.bsky.social in a movie where he plays all the parts, Eddie-Murphy-style.
October 25, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Calling it now: at some point soon Trump *will* get a fake Nobel Peace Prize dummied up by his sycophants.
October 13, 2025 at 2:49 PM
@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social Make SNL number the Weekend Update segments on YouTube. Add this to your platform and you'll coast into office.
October 12, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Time Magazine should make Colbert and/or Kimmel 2025's Person of the Year, just for funsies. If they do I'll buy a subscription for a year.
September 29, 2025 at 2:12 AM
We're gonna need a new name for frozen water.
September 27, 2025 at 11:08 PM
The way Trump mispronounced acetaminophen shows he's actually a lot *more* literate than I thought.
September 24, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Reposted by Sam Is On The Bluesky
September 18, 2025 at 9:01 PM
I just want one ad to say "but wait there's less."
September 10, 2025 at 4:16 PM
@robertjbennett.bsky.social Is your article about your writing shed still available somewhere? It lives rent-free in my head and I want to share it with everyone I know.
September 10, 2025 at 4:16 PM
How low are your glasses about it, Chuck? How low do your glasses have to get before you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
Fire RFK Jr. now.
August 30, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I really like Kill Team but what if it was larger squads instead of individuals, like whole armies fighting huge battles?
August 30, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Maybe don't copy/satirize his *entire* playbook, Gav.
Gov. Gavin Newsom tells @karaswisher.bsky.social he’s launching a memecoin — the “Trump Corruption Coin.”

Full episode drops tomorrow!
August 29, 2025 at 12:50 AM
A group of wizards is called a staff meeting.
August 28, 2025 at 4:36 AM
What is a shit-eating grin? Who's grinning while they eat shit? How did this phrase happen?
August 10, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Gonna start a celebrity-themed gas station called Lou Diamond Fill-ups.
August 6, 2025 at 3:44 PM
<I'm in Starfleet. My ship is caught by the Borg. I am added to the Collective.>
Borg drones: Hey, does anyone mind if we un-assimilate this guy? We've all only had songs we know half the chorus to stuck in our heads since he showed up.
August 2, 2025 at 5:57 PM