10pm at your parents’ house as an adult feels like 3am at your own apartment.

happy thanksgiving to the fucking crater on my face the night before working the biggest retail day of the year in the areas largest/most popular mall 🙃

So true. 💯

knowing your new car has a heated steering wheel sounds so goofy until it’s cold outside

a bowl of egg drop soup and an order of crab rangoons is my version of a chicken caesar salad with a side of fries