I hope this is februarys dip i really do. Ive been doing better than ever i think but this is just. This js just so

I want to cry i really really really want to cry

Idfc to put a name on it i was just in agony for an hour or so. Right after being really impressed with how well i was doing. Lol lmao even

And at the end of the day i am not interesting, attractive, or valuable enough to make up for it

I get so angry at what is virtually nothing. I butt heads with everyone. Everything feels like a personal attack or sign im being alienated

Too deeply exhausted with responsibilities to reply to anyone, too needle focused on like two things to engage about anything else with anyone, too lazy to work, too overwhelmed to relax, too scattered to do anything good with my time, too uptight to humor anything

Feels like no one wants me around. Like im in the way of everyone. Most of it is my fault. It hurts.

nothing like being confronted for being an absent friend to remind u ur. Well. An absent friend

im back to hoping i just dont wake up

Yes the world doesnt end when you fail a class and your laptop starts shitting itself right before going BACK to school but like. Lol. Lol. Lol

Like seriously what do i do. how am i supposed to take this any other way than like, yeah you should die

i hate being alive. why cant i be anything worthwhile