Twelve days of Christmas starting on the 25th of December means you can't consider removing anything until the 37th of December has passed. Fact.
January 1, 2026 at 11:07 PM
Twelve days of Christmas starting on the 25th of December means you can't consider removing anything until the 37th of December has passed. Fact.
Aye. Through an upper storey window.
December 30, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Aye. Through an upper storey window.
He'd be out of his depth in a puddle of his own piss.
December 29, 2025 at 7:49 PM
He'd be out of his depth in a puddle of his own piss.
I wonder what the range will shrink down to? Like "Hodor" or "Garp".
December 29, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I wonder what the range will shrink down to? Like "Hodor" or "Garp".
It's not even his money.
December 25, 2025 at 11:28 AM
It's not even his money.
Aye. And the Tommy Cooper fan club too.
December 22, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Aye. And the Tommy Cooper fan club too.
Fame will come quicker if you follow through.
December 20, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Fame will come quicker if you follow through.
"Trickle down" = rich stream of warm, sweet piss.
December 19, 2025 at 4:12 PM
"Trickle down" = rich stream of warm, sweet piss.
The jeans will never soak up enough piss without being longer.
December 17, 2025 at 9:28 PM
The jeans will never soak up enough piss without being longer.
One of his many other depravities?
December 15, 2025 at 9:06 PM
One of his many other depravities?
It pains me to say that it's not that outlandish.
Do a search for "MV Matthew".
Do a search for "MV Matthew".
December 10, 2025 at 11:26 PM
It pains me to say that it's not that outlandish.
Do a search for "MV Matthew".
Do a search for "MV Matthew".
The signs are a distant dot in the rear view mirror.
December 9, 2025 at 10:57 PM
The signs are a distant dot in the rear view mirror.
It's quite straightforward to turn on a lawn mower. You just have to get consent, be gentle, patient and don't rush things...
December 9, 2025 at 12:11 PM
It's quite straightforward to turn on a lawn mower. You just have to get consent, be gentle, patient and don't rush things...
An honourable mention must go to Lardass Logan though.
December 8, 2025 at 9:50 PM
An honourable mention must go to Lardass Logan though.
A future in economics awaits!
December 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
A future in economics awaits!
Are they undocumented bananas?
December 8, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Are they undocumented bananas?
Impossible to out-puke Mr. Creosote.
December 8, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Impossible to out-puke Mr. Creosote.
"We would ask those with full bladders and dog walkers to hold back and wait until the dancing is finished because last time..."
November 27, 2025 at 9:14 AM
"We would ask those with full bladders and dog walkers to hold back and wait until the dancing is finished because last time..."
"We are not gathered here today to mourn the passing of this man, but to celebrate and dance on his fucking grave.'
November 26, 2025 at 1:37 PM
"We are not gathered here today to mourn the passing of this man, but to celebrate and dance on his fucking grave.'
Someone who can wear a jersey like that and keep it pristine is someone who cannot be trusted with anything.
November 21, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Someone who can wear a jersey like that and keep it pristine is someone who cannot be trusted with anything.
To be fair, he does look like he's trying to keep the train in the station. But it looks like a struggle he's losing.
November 19, 2025 at 5:04 PM
To be fair, he does look like he's trying to keep the train in the station. But it looks like a struggle he's losing.
The trick is to use the bowl as a fart trumpet.
November 12, 2025 at 10:37 PM
The trick is to use the bowl as a fart trumpet.
Foolish chap: Trump probably never paid up.
November 12, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Foolish chap: Trump probably never paid up.