Frank
@fmummert.bsky.social
He/Him -- Refugee from the Nazi hellhole that Elon allowed Russian disinformation bots to turn Twitter into -- I don't take criticism from anyone I wouldn't go to for advice
So, he was 10 years old, and Twitter was -5 years old.
When you have to fabricate evidence, it makes me believe there is no evidence to be found.
When you have to fabricate evidence, it makes me believe there is no evidence to be found.
June 29, 2025 at 4:37 PM
So, he was 10 years old, and Twitter was -5 years old.
When you have to fabricate evidence, it makes me believe there is no evidence to be found.
When you have to fabricate evidence, it makes me believe there is no evidence to be found.
Someone shared an "America's Got Talent" clip and I have to say, I appreciate the objectivity of the judges they selected. Howie, Sofia, Mel B, and Simon... born in Canada, Columbia, England, & England respectively. No Americans to introduce subjectivity or needing to recuse themselves. Brilliant.
June 29, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Someone shared an "America's Got Talent" clip and I have to say, I appreciate the objectivity of the judges they selected. Howie, Sofia, Mel B, and Simon... born in Canada, Columbia, England, & England respectively. No Americans to introduce subjectivity or needing to recuse themselves. Brilliant.
I used to think that the upcoming Civil War II and World War III would be sequential and not concurrent. I was so adorably naive. So, can someone please make sure that our enemies have the addresses of the companies holding our student loan debt? Let's shake the Etch-a-Sketch and start over.
June 22, 2025 at 12:25 PM
I used to think that the upcoming Civil War II and World War III would be sequential and not concurrent. I was so adorably naive. So, can someone please make sure that our enemies have the addresses of the companies holding our student loan debt? Let's shake the Etch-a-Sketch and start over.
You may be eligible for a personal loan as low as 3.99%* APR!
*Well, I mean, not YOU. In fact, not anyone. Ever. Can you imagine? Everyone gets approved at an APR that is .01% below the threshold for felony usury charges. Sign up for auto-pay for a trivial discount. We've already sold your info.
*Well, I mean, not YOU. In fact, not anyone. Ever. Can you imagine? Everyone gets approved at an APR that is .01% below the threshold for felony usury charges. Sign up for auto-pay for a trivial discount. We've already sold your info.
May 22, 2025 at 9:34 PM
You may be eligible for a personal loan as low as 3.99%* APR!
*Well, I mean, not YOU. In fact, not anyone. Ever. Can you imagine? Everyone gets approved at an APR that is .01% below the threshold for felony usury charges. Sign up for auto-pay for a trivial discount. We've already sold your info.
*Well, I mean, not YOU. In fact, not anyone. Ever. Can you imagine? Everyone gets approved at an APR that is .01% below the threshold for felony usury charges. Sign up for auto-pay for a trivial discount. We've already sold your info.
My recent experiences with shipping.
Retailer: $25. 4-6 weeks. It will not be in box.
Amazon: Free (+ complicitness in human suffering). It's so fast it's already been stolen from your porch.
Etsy: $179.99. It is coming from the asteroid Ceres and will be there after the heat-death of the universe.
Retailer: $25. 4-6 weeks. It will not be in box.
Amazon: Free (+ complicitness in human suffering). It's so fast it's already been stolen from your porch.
Etsy: $179.99. It is coming from the asteroid Ceres and will be there after the heat-death of the universe.
May 15, 2025 at 7:09 PM
My recent experiences with shipping.
Retailer: $25. 4-6 weeks. It will not be in box.
Amazon: Free (+ complicitness in human suffering). It's so fast it's already been stolen from your porch.
Etsy: $179.99. It is coming from the asteroid Ceres and will be there after the heat-death of the universe.
Retailer: $25. 4-6 weeks. It will not be in box.
Amazon: Free (+ complicitness in human suffering). It's so fast it's already been stolen from your porch.
Etsy: $179.99. It is coming from the asteroid Ceres and will be there after the heat-death of the universe.
#AvengersEndgame
Tony: Well, I invented time travel and I can save the universe.
Pepper: (barely looking up from a book on composting) That's nice dear.
Tony: I'm going to join up with the Avengers tomorrow to do a time heist.
Pepper: Let me know if there's a battle and I'll find a babysitter.
Tony: Well, I invented time travel and I can save the universe.
Pepper: (barely looking up from a book on composting) That's nice dear.
Tony: I'm going to join up with the Avengers tomorrow to do a time heist.
Pepper: Let me know if there's a battle and I'll find a babysitter.
May 13, 2025 at 2:07 AM
#AvengersEndgame
Tony: Well, I invented time travel and I can save the universe.
Pepper: (barely looking up from a book on composting) That's nice dear.
Tony: I'm going to join up with the Avengers tomorrow to do a time heist.
Pepper: Let me know if there's a battle and I'll find a babysitter.
Tony: Well, I invented time travel and I can save the universe.
Pepper: (barely looking up from a book on composting) That's nice dear.
Tony: I'm going to join up with the Avengers tomorrow to do a time heist.
Pepper: Let me know if there's a battle and I'll find a babysitter.
New theory: @samreich.bsky.social is Kermit the Frog.
May 1, 2025 at 1:11 PM
New theory: @samreich.bsky.social is Kermit the Frog.
Youtube has made the process to block channels so unintuitive I had to Google it.
It recommended a D&D channel (good) that's anti-tolerance (very bad). Apparently, you have to go to their channel, click the "About" button (which isn't there, it's just "...") and then report the creator.
It recommended a D&D channel (good) that's anti-tolerance (very bad). Apparently, you have to go to their channel, click the "About" button (which isn't there, it's just "...") and then report the creator.
February 9, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Youtube has made the process to block channels so unintuitive I had to Google it.
It recommended a D&D channel (good) that's anti-tolerance (very bad). Apparently, you have to go to their channel, click the "About" button (which isn't there, it's just "...") and then report the creator.
It recommended a D&D channel (good) that's anti-tolerance (very bad). Apparently, you have to go to their channel, click the "About" button (which isn't there, it's just "...") and then report the creator.
Gen Z: Why does Dolly Parton sing about working only a 7-and-a-half hour day?
"What?"
Gen Z: 9-5 is only 7.5 hours...
"...With the lunch break. So, yeah, there used to be paid lunch breaks."
Gen Z: Huh.
"And it was an hour. So they only worked 7."
Gen Z: Fuck. They took everything from us.
"What?"
Gen Z: 9-5 is only 7.5 hours...
"...With the lunch break. So, yeah, there used to be paid lunch breaks."
Gen Z: Huh.
"And it was an hour. So they only worked 7."
Gen Z: Fuck. They took everything from us.
February 3, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Gen Z: Why does Dolly Parton sing about working only a 7-and-a-half hour day?
"What?"
Gen Z: 9-5 is only 7.5 hours...
"...With the lunch break. So, yeah, there used to be paid lunch breaks."
Gen Z: Huh.
"And it was an hour. So they only worked 7."
Gen Z: Fuck. They took everything from us.
"What?"
Gen Z: 9-5 is only 7.5 hours...
"...With the lunch break. So, yeah, there used to be paid lunch breaks."
Gen Z: Huh.
"And it was an hour. So they only worked 7."
Gen Z: Fuck. They took everything from us.
#VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines (2004) is my favorite video game ever.
I will also concede that it is not a very good game. It is an amazing interactive narrative with some of the worst control mechanics ever.
20 years of patches and I still can't climb the beach house stairs on the first try.
I will also concede that it is not a very good game. It is an amazing interactive narrative with some of the worst control mechanics ever.
20 years of patches and I still can't climb the beach house stairs on the first try.
January 3, 2025 at 6:00 PM
#VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines (2004) is my favorite video game ever.
I will also concede that it is not a very good game. It is an amazing interactive narrative with some of the worst control mechanics ever.
20 years of patches and I still can't climb the beach house stairs on the first try.
I will also concede that it is not a very good game. It is an amazing interactive narrative with some of the worst control mechanics ever.
20 years of patches and I still can't climb the beach house stairs on the first try.
Gordon Ramsay has a vocal cadence that makes everything he says sound like it was cut together from different voice recordings.
January 2, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Gordon Ramsay has a vocal cadence that makes everything he says sound like it was cut together from different voice recordings.
Horror Movie Problem - Why can't the characters use their cell phones to call for help?
Most Screenwriters: We'll set it out in the wilderness away from cell towers.
"The Purge" Screenwriter: I shall invent a holiday for my home invasion movie.
"Barbarian" Screenwriter: It's set in Detroit.
Most Screenwriters: We'll set it out in the wilderness away from cell towers.
"The Purge" Screenwriter: I shall invent a holiday for my home invasion movie.
"Barbarian" Screenwriter: It's set in Detroit.
December 1, 2024 at 7:00 PM
Horror Movie Problem - Why can't the characters use their cell phones to call for help?
Most Screenwriters: We'll set it out in the wilderness away from cell towers.
"The Purge" Screenwriter: I shall invent a holiday for my home invasion movie.
"Barbarian" Screenwriter: It's set in Detroit.
Most Screenwriters: We'll set it out in the wilderness away from cell towers.
"The Purge" Screenwriter: I shall invent a holiday for my home invasion movie.
"Barbarian" Screenwriter: It's set in Detroit.
Starfleet Bridge Officer Test:
1. Prove you can allow someone to die for the greater good
2. Prove you can handle a no-win scenario
3. Prove you can tell your only female bridge officer to get naked and do a moonlit fan dance to distract guards you could've probably flown past
#StarTrek
1. Prove you can allow someone to die for the greater good
2. Prove you can handle a no-win scenario
3. Prove you can tell your only female bridge officer to get naked and do a moonlit fan dance to distract guards you could've probably flown past
#StarTrek
May 31, 2024 at 1:57 PM
Starfleet Bridge Officer Test:
1. Prove you can allow someone to die for the greater good
2. Prove you can handle a no-win scenario
3. Prove you can tell your only female bridge officer to get naked and do a moonlit fan dance to distract guards you could've probably flown past
#StarTrek
1. Prove you can allow someone to die for the greater good
2. Prove you can handle a no-win scenario
3. Prove you can tell your only female bridge officer to get naked and do a moonlit fan dance to distract guards you could've probably flown past
#StarTrek
Inflation has made me so strong. 10 years ago, if I bought $200 in groceries, I would have to make two trips to bring them in the house. Now it only takes me one trip. Thanks, CEOs and shareholders, for your fathomless greed!
May 27, 2024 at 9:18 PM
Inflation has made me so strong. 10 years ago, if I bought $200 in groceries, I would have to make two trips to bring them in the house. Now it only takes me one trip. Thanks, CEOs and shareholders, for your fathomless greed!
Doctor: "If you keep eating fried chicken and steak--"
Me: "--I'll live to be at least 77 years old and on trial for financial crimes surrounding affairs with porn stars and playmates."
Doctor: "Yeah, he's really not helping with the normal health-related fear-mongering. Why isn't he dead yet?"
Me: "--I'll live to be at least 77 years old and on trial for financial crimes surrounding affairs with porn stars and playmates."
Doctor: "Yeah, he's really not helping with the normal health-related fear-mongering. Why isn't he dead yet?"
May 21, 2024 at 4:24 PM
Doctor: "If you keep eating fried chicken and steak--"
Me: "--I'll live to be at least 77 years old and on trial for financial crimes surrounding affairs with porn stars and playmates."
Doctor: "Yeah, he's really not helping with the normal health-related fear-mongering. Why isn't he dead yet?"
Me: "--I'll live to be at least 77 years old and on trial for financial crimes surrounding affairs with porn stars and playmates."
Doctor: "Yeah, he's really not helping with the normal health-related fear-mongering. Why isn't he dead yet?"
I got a new board game. It cost $200. The instruction manual is 60 pages long and doesn't start talking about gameplay until page 34. There is a supplemental download of corrections to the manual that is itself 4 pages long.
We live in a golden era.
We live in a golden era.
May 21, 2024 at 3:44 PM
I got a new board game. It cost $200. The instruction manual is 60 pages long and doesn't start talking about gameplay until page 34. There is a supplemental download of corrections to the manual that is itself 4 pages long.
We live in a golden era.
We live in a golden era.
#StarTrekDiscovery is getting ready to wrap up and I still don't know half of the bridge officers names.
This is why episodes that focus on side characters are important. I didn't know Ariam's name or that she was a cyborg until the episode she died. Great episode, but I thought she was a robot.
This is why episodes that focus on side characters are important. I didn't know Ariam's name or that she was a cyborg until the episode she died. Great episode, but I thought she was a robot.
May 21, 2024 at 2:59 PM
#StarTrekDiscovery is getting ready to wrap up and I still don't know half of the bridge officers names.
This is why episodes that focus on side characters are important. I didn't know Ariam's name or that she was a cyborg until the episode she died. Great episode, but I thought she was a robot.
This is why episodes that focus on side characters are important. I didn't know Ariam's name or that she was a cyborg until the episode she died. Great episode, but I thought she was a robot.
Hey, Corporations: If you're the reason I'm seeing an ad on Amazon Prime, I am boycotting your product/service. I don't pay for a service for it to show me ads.
May 11, 2024 at 4:10 PM
Hey, Corporations: If you're the reason I'm seeing an ad on Amazon Prime, I am boycotting your product/service. I don't pay for a service for it to show me ads.
I had an acquaintance who was an artist. He grew up poor and being an artist didn't help. Except he had an opportunity 30-ish years ago to help make art for a new card game. But he had to turn it down because it paid after the game launched and he couldn't wait that long for money. He had bills.
May 9, 2024 at 5:53 PM
I had an acquaintance who was an artist. He grew up poor and being an artist didn't help. Except he had an opportunity 30-ish years ago to help make art for a new card game. But he had to turn it down because it paid after the game launched and he couldn't wait that long for money. He had bills.
Work five days... Recover for two... Other people will be made wealthier for your efforts. These people believe they are the real hard workers and the people they employ are lazy ingrates. They will shame you for needing rest.
Repeat until dead.
I hate it here.
Repeat until dead.
Repeat until dead.
I hate it here.
Repeat until dead.
May 6, 2024 at 2:32 PM
Work five days... Recover for two... Other people will be made wealthier for your efforts. These people believe they are the real hard workers and the people they employ are lazy ingrates. They will shame you for needing rest.
Repeat until dead.
I hate it here.
Repeat until dead.
Repeat until dead.
I hate it here.
Repeat until dead.
*at the National Archives*
*looking at the Declaration of Independence*
"... Shouldn't we have given this to England?"
*looking at the Declaration of Independence*
"... Shouldn't we have given this to England?"
April 30, 2024 at 1:03 AM
*at the National Archives*
*looking at the Declaration of Independence*
"... Shouldn't we have given this to England?"
*looking at the Declaration of Independence*
"... Shouldn't we have given this to England?"
I didn't know shit about drugs until a deputy interrupted my health class to teach me all about them. I assume the was to perpetuate the school-to-jail pipeline or to help get us strung out so we'd more willingly participate in a capitalist system we could never win. *straightens tin foil hat*
April 24, 2024 at 1:11 PM
I didn't know shit about drugs until a deputy interrupted my health class to teach me all about them. I assume the was to perpetuate the school-to-jail pipeline or to help get us strung out so we'd more willingly participate in a capitalist system we could never win. *straightens tin foil hat*
Baldur's Gate 3 has won GOTY at every award show. The only game ever to do it.
I keep thinking back to the guy who said he kind of liked it, but it could be better if they just... And then he went on to describe all the changes necessary to make it basically Elden Ring.
I keep thinking back to the guy who said he kind of liked it, but it could be better if they just... And then he went on to describe all the changes necessary to make it basically Elden Ring.
April 22, 2024 at 4:02 PM
Baldur's Gate 3 has won GOTY at every award show. The only game ever to do it.
I keep thinking back to the guy who said he kind of liked it, but it could be better if they just... And then he went on to describe all the changes necessary to make it basically Elden Ring.
I keep thinking back to the guy who said he kind of liked it, but it could be better if they just... And then he went on to describe all the changes necessary to make it basically Elden Ring.
I just went 30 hours without internet or screens (camping) just to see if I could. I can.
Also, I had so many ideas for useless posts that I've forgotten all of them. Nothing of value has been lost.
Also, I had so many ideas for useless posts that I've forgotten all of them. Nothing of value has been lost.
April 22, 2024 at 2:07 PM
I just went 30 hours without internet or screens (camping) just to see if I could. I can.
Also, I had so many ideas for useless posts that I've forgotten all of them. Nothing of value has been lost.
Also, I had so many ideas for useless posts that I've forgotten all of them. Nothing of value has been lost.