i have to be pmsing again bc literally everything i see pmo. i hate this mang. i know im otherwise doin badly but i just wanna CHILL OUT
December 9, 2025 at 1:16 AM
i have to be pmsing again bc literally everything i see pmo. i hate this mang. i know im otherwise doin badly but i just wanna CHILL OUT
my ex wife getting mad at me literally made me spiral so bad lmfao. back when we were kids i would have fallen over myself to apologize & explain & it would just make her more mad, so i just have all these feelings sitting here going nowhere. that's literally my best friend,
December 4, 2025 at 5:53 AM
my ex wife getting mad at me literally made me spiral so bad lmfao. back when we were kids i would have fallen over myself to apologize & explain & it would just make her more mad, so i just have all these feelings sitting here going nowhere. that's literally my best friend,
i don't actually want to talk about or acknowledge how bad i actually am bc it's worse than it's ever been since my gma died, & i think that means since i'm sober & largely """"neurotypical"""" passing that i am seeking out ways to do things to yell at myself for. idk.
December 3, 2025 at 1:28 AM
i don't actually want to talk about or acknowledge how bad i actually am bc it's worse than it's ever been since my gma died, & i think that means since i'm sober & largely """"neurotypical"""" passing that i am seeking out ways to do things to yell at myself for. idk.
conveniently forgetting this exists until i wanna follow somebody. good and normal & not an indication i'm shying away from my mental health like a wild horse
November 25, 2025 at 2:05 AM
conveniently forgetting this exists until i wanna follow somebody. good and normal & not an indication i'm shying away from my mental health like a wild horse
laughed so hard @ a stream that both my arms & neck went numb. that's probably fine
November 6, 2025 at 3:47 AM
laughed so hard @ a stream that both my arms & neck went numb. that's probably fine
ok i think i be here again w/o thinking of xander & bursting into tears every .02 seconds...... but the mental health, it's not bouncing back fast enough. impatient. i'm bout to pull out the ps1 games for joy (haven't played tactics or lunar rerelease yet even)
November 5, 2025 at 9:43 PM
ok i think i be here again w/o thinking of xander & bursting into tears every .02 seconds...... but the mental health, it's not bouncing back fast enough. impatient. i'm bout to pull out the ps1 games for joy (haven't played tactics or lunar rerelease yet even)
so grateful that we were able to make the move up here. the mayo clinic being so close was a huge motivating factor for me, and that was just in case, but now that my mom needs it... grateful grateful grateful. need to hold onto that
August 11, 2025 at 12:28 AM
so grateful that we were able to make the move up here. the mayo clinic being so close was a huge motivating factor for me, and that was just in case, but now that my mom needs it... grateful grateful grateful. need to hold onto that
trying not to spiral over sth wrt my mother but after losing my grandmother/second mother & xander most recently i am so sensitive regarding anything approaching mortality rn. so it's like. takes this one day at a time. but also if it's more serious idk i'll lose it i think
August 8, 2025 at 11:19 PM
trying not to spiral over sth wrt my mother but after losing my grandmother/second mother & xander most recently i am so sensitive regarding anything approaching mortality rn. so it's like. takes this one day at a time. but also if it's more serious idk i'll lose it i think
im not really a vinny guy but i did just watch him turn dk into homer smokin a cigarette & idk if its bc my gummy just hit but that's pretty good tv
July 18, 2025 at 3:39 AM
im not really a vinny guy but i did just watch him turn dk into homer smokin a cigarette & idk if its bc my gummy just hit but that's pretty good tv
i had other, more personal, shit to say once i was here but i forgor & i need to gummy up & pray it gets me to sleep.
July 18, 2025 at 2:47 AM
i had other, more personal, shit to say once i was here but i forgor & i need to gummy up & pray it gets me to sleep.
being a pussy & not saying this on main but i'm at the point where i need a white person who's playing a non-white character to say "| white |" in their bio or i'm preventatively mentally writing them off. sorry. i don't trust fuckin nobody anymore
July 18, 2025 at 2:44 AM
being a pussy & not saying this on main but i'm at the point where i need a white person who's playing a non-white character to say "| white |" in their bio or i'm preventatively mentally writing them off. sorry. i don't trust fuckin nobody anymore
i fear poke's my streamer man. i got my ish w him & i dont watch every stream but that's my boy & it's nice to havin someone high to watch when my insomnia overrides my own ykwim
a picture of an alien with the words what is bro yammering about below it
ALT: a picture of an alien with the words what is bro yammering about below it
media.tenor.com
July 11, 2025 at 4:06 AM
i fear poke's my streamer man. i got my ish w him & i dont watch every stream but that's my boy & it's nice to havin someone high to watch when my insomnia overrides my own ykwim
faking not being miserable and self-loathing until i make it true. i am the most medicated (for mental health) i can possibly be, i am managing my pain okayishly, i had a good talk w my mom that hopefully really helped her so i dont feel so On Edge in my own apartment but...... it's hard.
June 25, 2025 at 12:45 PM
faking not being miserable and self-loathing until i make it true. i am the most medicated (for mental health) i can possibly be, i am managing my pain okayishly, i had a good talk w my mom that hopefully really helped her so i dont feel so On Edge in my own apartment but...... it's hard.
it's the little things that get me. like throwing my floss straight into the trash instead of having to wrap it in a tissue bc xander loved mint flavor. ice cream, floss, didn't matter... god i miss him
June 17, 2025 at 6:29 AM
it's the little things that get me. like throwing my floss straight into the trash instead of having to wrap it in a tissue bc xander loved mint flavor. ice cream, floss, didn't matter... god i miss him
hit my personal limit so took a shower & clumps of hair came out... grief is very fun and cool. least i smell good
June 16, 2025 at 12:58 AM
hit my personal limit so took a shower & clumps of hair came out... grief is very fun and cool. least i smell good
desperately trying to stay out of bed longer than 20 mins. i need a shower at least. but his scent...sick as he was... mb if i reward myself w a gummy or sth. idk. just the second i am starting to feel like a Person again the giant hand of grief presses me back into the mattress. tired. tired tired.
June 15, 2025 at 12:43 AM
desperately trying to stay out of bed longer than 20 mins. i need a shower at least. but his scent...sick as he was... mb if i reward myself w a gummy or sth. idk. just the second i am starting to feel like a Person again the giant hand of grief presses me back into the mattress. tired. tired tired.
if i have haters they are most assuredly winning bc i am fucking miserable
June 14, 2025 at 12:39 PM
if i have haters they are most assuredly winning bc i am fucking miserable
spooky is on the hunt for his brother and is super anxious for comfort and it is killing me
June 11, 2025 at 11:04 PM
spooky is on the hunt for his brother and is super anxious for comfort and it is killing me
losing my grandmother/second mother, then willow, and now xander, for the past 2 & a half years... i can't do it. i can't do any more forever-loss. i know it's a fact of life. i'm just selfish & i want it to stop.
June 10, 2025 at 8:12 PM
losing my grandmother/second mother, then willow, and now xander, for the past 2 & a half years... i can't do it. i can't do any more forever-loss. i know it's a fact of life. i'm just selfish & i want it to stop.
i may be suicidal and want to start drinking again bc irl and i may be fucking insane just generally but i will forever be thankful for my memory so that when i go back to make sure i'm not misremembering something, indeed i have not misremembered something i said. i'll take that W
May 23, 2025 at 5:17 AM
i may be suicidal and want to start drinking again bc irl and i may be fucking insane just generally but i will forever be thankful for my memory so that when i go back to make sure i'm not misremembering something, indeed i have not misremembered something i said. i'll take that W
i will say that the fact that top surgery is seeming more and more like an impossibility the more and more i question why i'm sober. i know it's not helpful, but it's either being drunk or suicide, and i really have a lot of people i like in this life that i don't want to leave.
May 22, 2025 at 4:56 AM
i will say that the fact that top surgery is seeming more and more like an impossibility the more and more i question why i'm sober. i know it's not helpful, but it's either being drunk or suicide, and i really have a lot of people i like in this life that i don't want to leave.
also while im here i want to vaguetweet somebody sayin suckin the strap is goofy. different strokes yes yes but GIRL????? please open your heart 😔🙏
May 13, 2025 at 10:47 PM
also while im here i want to vaguetweet somebody sayin suckin the strap is goofy. different strokes yes yes but GIRL????? please open your heart 😔🙏
poke battlefielding in the bg & usually myth 2hype for me but saving poke's life n sayin "u love me :3?" endeared me forever. i love when boys flirt while playing the most classic toxic masculinity games possible. embrace the homoeroticism lads, 100 years ago you woulda kissed in the infirmary
May 13, 2025 at 10:46 PM
poke battlefielding in the bg & usually myth 2hype for me but saving poke's life n sayin "u love me :3?" endeared me forever. i love when boys flirt while playing the most classic toxic masculinity games possible. embrace the homoeroticism lads, 100 years ago you woulda kissed in the infirmary
its wild to me when ppl write non-white characters as sex obsessed freaks when i KNOW my freaky side is from my white ancestors. there is no fucking way my non-white ancestors are looking at me w approval when it comes to what turns me on even just mentally
May 13, 2025 at 8:50 PM
its wild to me when ppl write non-white characters as sex obsessed freaks when i KNOW my freaky side is from my white ancestors. there is no fucking way my non-white ancestors are looking at me w approval when it comes to what turns me on even just mentally
when ppl are like "he's SOOOO HOT OMG" and it's just. a man. who looks like any other random man. 😭😭😭 I TRY TO SEE IT I SWEAR, but my general face/looks blindness is like x10 wrt men. i wanna be supportive, i just cant take that journey... ill see u later down the trail when its time to rehydrate
May 13, 2025 at 5:38 PM
when ppl are like "he's SOOOO HOT OMG" and it's just. a man. who looks like any other random man. 😭😭😭 I TRY TO SEE IT I SWEAR, but my general face/looks blindness is like x10 wrt men. i wanna be supportive, i just cant take that journey... ill see u later down the trail when its time to rehydrate