Figgy Smads
@figgysmads.bsky.social
Loser, Streamer, Writer, Husband.
He/Him/They
He/Him/They
Local man frothing at mouth and gnashing teeth preparing to send a work email
December 21, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Local man frothing at mouth and gnashing teeth preparing to send a work email
Still not isekai'd on the way to work, a tragedy in 67 parts
December 21, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Still not isekai'd on the way to work, a tragedy in 67 parts
Dude who shit in my pants
December 20, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Dude who shit in my pants
Using a warmed public toilet seat is a fundamental human experience
December 19, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Using a warmed public toilet seat is a fundamental human experience
Sometimes you hear grown men make animal noises in the gym bathroom.
Today's selection was some sort of wild cat growl.
Today's selection was some sort of wild cat growl.
December 18, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Sometimes you hear grown men make animal noises in the gym bathroom.
Today's selection was some sort of wild cat growl.
Today's selection was some sort of wild cat growl.
I dreamt of the end of the world last night.
Crack in the concrete of reality great and small, pouring forth grey oil and black smoke.
They grew slowly, over days and weeks, a strangling death for our world. I'd hop over one on the way to work.
I was working till the last day.
Crack in the concrete of reality great and small, pouring forth grey oil and black smoke.
They grew slowly, over days and weeks, a strangling death for our world. I'd hop over one on the way to work.
I was working till the last day.
November 12, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I dreamt of the end of the world last night.
Crack in the concrete of reality great and small, pouring forth grey oil and black smoke.
They grew slowly, over days and weeks, a strangling death for our world. I'd hop over one on the way to work.
I was working till the last day.
Crack in the concrete of reality great and small, pouring forth grey oil and black smoke.
They grew slowly, over days and weeks, a strangling death for our world. I'd hop over one on the way to work.
I was working till the last day.
Fighting the urge to not quit like a big boy. Come on brain, come on!
Go further beyond!
Go further beyond!
November 12, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Fighting the urge to not quit like a big boy. Come on brain, come on!
Go further beyond!
Go further beyond!
Blasting through my PR to the Yu Gi Oh opening themesong
November 6, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Blasting through my PR to the Yu Gi Oh opening themesong
The Hellen Keller denial, more than anything else, has genuinely cost me some amount of hope in the next generation
October 24, 2025 at 2:51 PM
The Hellen Keller denial, more than anything else, has genuinely cost me some amount of hope in the next generation
Not only do I think every job should have liveable wages, I think said wages should account for having mean coworkers.
I am literally not payed enough to deal with snippy
I am literally not payed enough to deal with snippy
October 18, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Not only do I think every job should have liveable wages, I think said wages should account for having mean coworkers.
I am literally not payed enough to deal with snippy
I am literally not payed enough to deal with snippy
Maybe the stench of tiger balm, axe, and old spice deodorant will cover up my wombo combo of gym stank and forgetting to shower for an entire weekend (don't @ me, I know)
September 29, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Maybe the stench of tiger balm, axe, and old spice deodorant will cover up my wombo combo of gym stank and forgetting to shower for an entire weekend (don't @ me, I know)
Day 1 of Blasting Monoco's theme until my depression is cured
It's already worked
It's already worked
a blurred image of a blue object on a brown surface
ALT: a blurred image of a blue object on a brown surface
media.tenor.com
September 15, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Day 1 of Blasting Monoco's theme until my depression is cured
It's already worked
It's already worked
If anyone's curious how my self adult education is going, I got a Pre K level math problem wrong.
So honestly par for the course.
So honestly par for the course.
September 14, 2025 at 3:59 PM
If anyone's curious how my self adult education is going, I got a Pre K level math problem wrong.
So honestly par for the course.
So honestly par for the course.
Stairmaster five minutes is longer than DMV five minutes
I will not explain
I will not explain
September 12, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Stairmaster five minutes is longer than DMV five minutes
I will not explain
I will not explain
Has anyone else wondered if dog treats actually are really good?
Like what if Scooby Snacks fuck, what if Shaggys right
Like what if Scooby Snacks fuck, what if Shaggys right
September 11, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Has anyone else wondered if dog treats actually are really good?
Like what if Scooby Snacks fuck, what if Shaggys right
Like what if Scooby Snacks fuck, what if Shaggys right
I just wanted to finish Fiveman before it was taken down. All of Jetman is right there on tubi.
Free me from capitalism, even as I participate in it
Free me from capitalism, even as I participate in it
a group of power rangers are standing in a row with their arms outstretched
ALT: a group of power rangers are standing in a row with their arms outstretched
media.tenor.com
September 10, 2025 at 11:54 AM
I just wanted to finish Fiveman before it was taken down. All of Jetman is right there on tubi.
Free me from capitalism, even as I participate in it
Free me from capitalism, even as I participate in it
Dreaming of a day I only poop 7 times
September 9, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Dreaming of a day I only poop 7 times
Here's hoping the rain gets me out of plumbing house work today folks. My body is tired.
August 24, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Here's hoping the rain gets me out of plumbing house work today folks. My body is tired.
Sometimes marriage is prostitution in exchange for sweet treats, but damnit I'm excited about my iced mocha
June 29, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Sometimes marriage is prostitution in exchange for sweet treats, but damnit I'm excited about my iced mocha
"I haven't seen you post on Bluesky in awhile."
- My wife, 2025
- My wife, 2025
May 26, 2025 at 10:51 PM
"I haven't seen you post on Bluesky in awhile."
- My wife, 2025
- My wife, 2025
Reposted by Figgy Smads
"Yes, there’s danger in opening our gates to this statue. But there’s also danger in keeping it out… the danger of eroding the sanctity of the gift-giving process."
Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
“In the wake of votes by a handful of key Democrats, led by Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, to pass a GOP-led continuing resolution funding f...
www.mcsweeneys.net
March 22, 2025 at 12:30 PM
"Yes, there’s danger in opening our gates to this statue. But there’s also danger in keeping it out… the danger of eroding the sanctity of the gift-giving process."
Reposted by Figgy Smads
There are so many justifications for getting phones out of schools and he just had to pick the one that was the most batshit crazy
March 22, 2025 at 1:54 PM
There are so many justifications for getting phones out of schools and he just had to pick the one that was the most batshit crazy
Reposted by Figgy Smads
We’re gonna need this meme a lot over the next few years.
March 22, 2025 at 2:00 PM
We’re gonna need this meme a lot over the next few years.
Reposted by Figgy Smads
if i ever refer to y'all as my "audience" feel free to wheel out the guillotine
March 22, 2025 at 1:20 PM
if i ever refer to y'all as my "audience" feel free to wheel out the guillotine