Not tearing families apart or forcing people to choose between rent and medicine? No, apparently the sin is maybe getting bred at a glory hole. Not my thing—if it’s yours, Helena Homewrecker, enjoy—but it’s wild what people decide is unforgivable.

Have a safe flight!

You guys are amazing

But good news! ICE agents finally get their moment—grab your guns, boys, and go fight Daddy’s war! Nothing says “patriot” like deflecting a dictatorship with camouflage and chaos.

Or do we keep the pressure, not the pitchforks? Progress isn’t always pretty—but neither are we before our morning coffee.

Now the left wants perfection out the gate—one slip and you’re canceled harder than cable. Gavin Newsom’s record on trans issues isn’t perfect, but should we yeet him into the same bin as Trump?

Article III – Courts
Judges interpret the law. Supreme Court’s the drama-filled final word. Lifetime jobs—like your tita who never retires but loves to judge.

Article II – President
The President’s the boss—but like, can’t do everything. Signs laws, runs the military, does speeches, kisses babies, and prays for no scandals.

Articles

Article I – Congress
We hired Congress to make laws, not take naps. Two teams: the House (rowdy) and the Senate (older, slower). They better work or we vote ’em out.

Preamble
We the people are sick of chaos, so we’re putting some rules down—to keep things fair, chill, safe, and free. For us, our kids, and our kids’ annoying kids.