Oh god I need to sign the Patreon again urgently

Yes, this is about OCD. I just get even more shocked by the fact that all three members that were there - none of them thought it wasn't a good idea to mention a literal disorder in vain like this.

I know I act oblivious, weird, miserable and that I can't express myself properly, I truly do know that, which makes me comprehend purely why people can despite me. But make fun of something that almost killed me was truly not what I expected.

As someone who already feels that isn't taken seriously by anyone, or that issues are neglected or underlooked, mainly this was a huge issue during my whole life, seeing it happen made by people I looked forward to was truly disappointing. And I don't have the guts to call them out.

I think the joke was just a push for this all to happen. I'm posting it here just to be sure one of the members who interacted with the joke doesn't see my post, since it can be harmful to them.

I know I am the mod, and I could just do something about it. But before it happened I was already starting to decline, so I decided to just leave.
Ofc the whole reason I'm like this nowadays isn't fault of the joke only, but of other things I was dealing with as well

This mental illness literally made me lose a big part of my teenage years, it made me not eat, not talk, have crises every day, try to kill myself frequently - and etc, so seeing people joke/mention it in an un‐serious way truly made me feel unwell

To make things clear, I'm not an alter. I don't have DID, but yes, a personality disorder that is related to a coping mechanism I have

Atp I will put my clothes to school on already, so when I wake up I will already be ready.

When I said I "used to ask for respect" I meant as:
Whenever I saw someone getting bullied, or anyone harming anyone else, I would get my feet in the middle, or if I for example saw people not giving pass for a woman holding a baby on the train I would yell that there is a baby passing by etc

And whenever it feels that something is unfair they just put themselves in the middle, like when I took that girl's doll and ran away with it because she didn't want to play with me and kept leaving me out while I just wanted to befriend her since she was popular

I was a really weird kid