Fake Yarra Trams
@fakeyarratrams.bsky.social
The real news from a fake perspective, about tram life in Melbourne. Account also often hijacked by Depot Cat.
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
November 14, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
November 13, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
November 12, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat
November 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: Oaks Day Nov 6 2008 and feet replace trains on the Flemington Racecourse line due to Connex Trains failing. A year later @fakemetrotrains took over and things got even worse. It’s why it’s always smarter to travel to things on #YarraTrams.
November 5, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Oaks Day Nov 6 2008 and feet replace trains on the Flemington Racecourse line due to Connex Trains failing. A year later @fakemetrotrains took over and things got even worse. It’s why it’s always smarter to travel to things on #YarraTrams.
Well done to Half Yours on winning your horsey race. Just a reminder the other half is mine, and I’ll take your half too if I want. ~Depot Cat
November 4, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Well done to Half Yours on winning your horsey race. Just a reminder the other half is mine, and I’ll take your half too if I want. ~Depot Cat
Hurry up Buttercup, or we’ll be late to the event that stops the nation. I’m not going to miss out on the awesome kebabs from the van outside of Flemington. It opens just in time for all the drunks leaving after the last race. Now get a move on! ~Depot Cat
November 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Hurry up Buttercup, or we’ll be late to the event that stops the nation. I’m not going to miss out on the awesome kebabs from the van outside of Flemington. It opens just in time for all the drunks leaving after the last race. Now get a move on! ~Depot Cat
I’m not enjoying this weather. Who do I scratch about it? ~Depot Cat
November 3, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I’m not enjoying this weather. Who do I scratch about it? ~Depot Cat
Looks like the LED display is broken. That first letter is an E not an F, so I better go eat. ~Depot Cat
November 1, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Looks like the LED display is broken. That first letter is an E not an F, so I better go eat. ~Depot Cat
It’s Halloween, so you have to give me stuff for dressing up. This year I’m a kebab, so that means you have to give me a kebab. It’s the law, and I put a lot of effort into this, so hurry up. ~Depot Cat
October 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
It’s Halloween, so you have to give me stuff for dressing up. This year I’m a kebab, so that means you have to give me a kebab. It’s the law, and I put a lot of effort into this, so hurry up. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: 1924, W.304 after delivery from Adelaide being unloaded by crane in the Spencer St Yards. The tram was built in Adelaide by the Holden Bodyworks. These days the crane, the yard, Holden, and we’re pretty sure Adelaide as well no longer exist. #YarraTrams
October 29, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: 1924, W.304 after delivery from Adelaide being unloaded by crane in the Spencer St Yards. The tram was built in Adelaide by the Holden Bodyworks. These days the crane, the yard, Holden, and we’re pretty sure Adelaide as well no longer exist. #YarraTrams
Struggling with your exams? For the low low price of just $299 and five kebabs, you can tell them your cat ate your homework, and I’ll happily take the blame.
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
October 29, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Struggling with your exams? For the low low price of just $299 and five kebabs, you can tell them your cat ate your homework, and I’ll happily take the blame.
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Have you ever wanted to work for #YarraTrams? Well now is your time to apply, and you too could be as happy as this driver. Mind you she is about to face disciplinary action for having her fingers facing the wrong way, while signalling to a taxi driver to stay out of the way.
October 27, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Have you ever wanted to work for #YarraTrams? Well now is your time to apply, and you too could be as happy as this driver. Mind you she is about to face disciplinary action for having her fingers facing the wrong way, while signalling to a taxi driver to stay out of the way.
Enough is enough Depot Dog! I don’t care that you’re scared of the storm, get out of my storm napping spot right now! ~Depot Cat
October 26, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Enough is enough Depot Dog! I don’t care that you’re scared of the storm, get out of my storm napping spot right now! ~Depot Cat
Fine then, the diet starts on Monday. Which Monday? Look don’t go pushing your luck, it’s a day and that’s progress, and I should be rewarded for that commitment with a dozen kebabs, so hurry up with them. ~Depot Cat
October 25, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Fine then, the diet starts on Monday. Which Monday? Look don’t go pushing your luck, it’s a day and that’s progress, and I should be rewarded for that commitment with a dozen kebabs, so hurry up with them. ~Depot Cat
Come on Brenda there’s no need to get HR involved. There’s no evidence of me stealing your food from the air fryer. I was simply checking if it was ready, because you were busy crying to HR about how I keep stealing your food. Can’t we just share a meal and be friends? ~Depot Cat
October 24, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Come on Brenda there’s no need to get HR involved. There’s no evidence of me stealing your food from the air fryer. I was simply checking if it was ready, because you were busy crying to HR about how I keep stealing your food. Can’t we just share a meal and be friends? ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: Yesterday a tree fell on a tram, causing major delays. Another example of something ignoring the rules that trams have right of way. The tree claimed to not make a sound, so did it really fall at all? #YarraTrams
October 22, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Yesterday a tree fell on a tram, causing major delays. Another example of something ignoring the rules that trams have right of way. The tree claimed to not make a sound, so did it really fall at all? #YarraTrams
My necklace? Why yes, I picked it up while in Paris last week. Which reminds me, I need to go back there soon, I forgot to put my ladder and chainsaw back into my luggage. ~Depot Cat
October 22, 2025 at 3:30 AM
My necklace? Why yes, I picked it up while in Paris last week. Which reminds me, I need to go back there soon, I forgot to put my ladder and chainsaw back into my luggage. ~Depot Cat
Yesterday a bus collided with a tram on Route 48. After a full and thorough investigation (stealing these images from Reddit) we have concluded that the bus company is to blame, so they have to provide a year of free replacement buses, no backsies. #YarraTrams
October 21, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Yesterday a bus collided with a tram on Route 48. After a full and thorough investigation (stealing these images from Reddit) we have concluded that the bus company is to blame, so they have to provide a year of free replacement buses, no backsies. #YarraTrams
Episode 2 out now. ~Depot Cat
October 20, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Episode 2 out now. ~Depot Cat
On Friday #YarraTrams were proud to launch our first G Class tram at Maidstone Depot.
Now if whoever stole it over the weekend could please return it, that would be great. Just pop in the letterbox out the front (the one with the ignored No Junk Mail sticker) and all’s good.
Now if whoever stole it over the weekend could please return it, that would be great. Just pop in the letterbox out the front (the one with the ignored No Junk Mail sticker) and all’s good.
October 19, 2025 at 9:30 PM
On Friday #YarraTrams were proud to launch our first G Class tram at Maidstone Depot.
Now if whoever stole it over the weekend could please return it, that would be great. Just pop in the letterbox out the front (the one with the ignored No Junk Mail sticker) and all’s good.
Now if whoever stole it over the weekend could please return it, that would be great. Just pop in the letterbox out the front (the one with the ignored No Junk Mail sticker) and all’s good.
Human, this is not the dry food I ordered. This one has no sharp edges, meaning you won’t get hurt stepping on it. I refuse to eat any of this, until you replace it with something that hurts you. Otherwise my spreading it on the floor randomly will be for nothing. ~Depot Cat
October 18, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Human, this is not the dry food I ordered. This one has no sharp edges, meaning you won’t get hurt stepping on it. I refuse to eat any of this, until you replace it with something that hurts you. Otherwise my spreading it on the floor randomly will be for nothing. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday to that time five minutes ago when I got a kebab. It was very nice and now that you have seen this picture you own me a kebab within the next five minutes. So hurry up and get it or get scratched. ~Depot Cat
October 16, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Throwback Thursday to that time five minutes ago when I got a kebab. It was very nice and now that you have seen this picture you own me a kebab within the next five minutes. So hurry up and get it or get scratched. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: October 1986, L1159 leads a freight train over the Montague Street Bridge and past the burnt out station. Freight trains on the line caused the bridge to be so low that it keeps getting hit, so stop blaming #YarraTrams for all the stuck trucks and buses.
October 15, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: October 1986, L1159 leads a freight train over the Montague Street Bridge and past the burnt out station. Freight trains on the line caused the bridge to be so low that it keeps getting hit, so stop blaming #YarraTrams for all the stuck trucks and buses.