Fake Yarra Trams
@fakeyarratrams.bsky.social
The real news from a fake perspective, about tram life in Melbourne. Account also often hijacked by Depot Cat.
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
November 15, 2025 at 1:00 PM
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
November 14, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
November 13, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
November 12, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
A truck has collided with a tram on Rt.75 at Springvale Rd. Apparently there were no taxis available to cause the incident, so the truckie stepped up. #YarraTrams
November 12, 2025 at 7:20 PM
A truck has collided with a tram on Rt.75 at Springvale Rd. Apparently there were no taxis available to cause the incident, so the truckie stepped up. #YarraTrams
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
Yeah! It’s about time these kids realised that public transport isn’t free for them.
We're pleased to hear Jacinta Allen's announcement of tougher punishments for juvenile crime.
We can only hope these laws will include harsh penalties for the most serious crime of all: not tapping on a valid Myki.
#MetroTrains
We can only hope these laws will include harsh penalties for the most serious crime of all: not tapping on a valid Myki.
#MetroTrains
November 12, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Yeah! It’s about time these kids realised that public transport isn’t free for them.
AC⚡️DC play the MCG tonight, and again on Sunday, for two huge concerts. However #YarraTrams will not be providing extra trams. The band still haven’t paid the fine for delaying services on Swanston St, Feb 23, 1976, while filming this video clip:
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November 11, 2025 at 9:30 PM
AC⚡️DC play the MCG tonight, and again on Sunday, for two huge concerts. However #YarraTrams will not be providing extra trams. The band still haven’t paid the fine for delaying services on Swanston St, Feb 23, 1976, while filming this video clip:
On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, we will remember them. Lest We Forget.
November 11, 2025 at 12:00 AM
On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, we will remember them. Lest We Forget.
Today marks 140 years of Melbourne trams.
Trams launched in 1885, providing convenient, reliable, and easy transport for Melbourne. In 1999, #YarraTrams took over, and we replaced convenient, reliable, and easy with delayed, defective, and profitable.
Trams launched in 1885, providing convenient, reliable, and easy transport for Melbourne. In 1999, #YarraTrams took over, and we replaced convenient, reliable, and easy with delayed, defective, and profitable.
The public transport punt that changed Melbourne
Melbourne's history with trams goes back 140 years. The city got its first tram in 1885 and the fleet has grown to become the world's largest tram network.
www.abc.net.au
November 10, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Today marks 140 years of Melbourne trams.
Trams launched in 1885, providing convenient, reliable, and easy transport for Melbourne. In 1999, #YarraTrams took over, and we replaced convenient, reliable, and easy with delayed, defective, and profitable.
Trams launched in 1885, providing convenient, reliable, and easy transport for Melbourne. In 1999, #YarraTrams took over, and we replaced convenient, reliable, and easy with delayed, defective, and profitable.
#YarraTrams would like to remind everyone that the 2026 Protest Rally schedule is closing soon. With it being an election year we’re expecting higher than usual submissions, so get your request to block trams while yelling at clouds in to us by the end of the week.
November 9, 2025 at 9:30 PM
#YarraTrams would like to remind everyone that the 2026 Protest Rally schedule is closing soon. With it being an election year we’re expecting higher than usual submissions, so get your request to block trams while yelling at clouds in to us by the end of the week.
Free travel this morning for anyone doing the walk of shame. We’ve noticed a few of you looking a bit ragged, and who are we to judge? We’ve all been there, so just let it be what it is, and we’ll see you bright and fresh Monday morning. #YarraTrams
November 8, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Free travel this morning for anyone doing the walk of shame. We’ve noticed a few of you looking a bit ragged, and who are we to judge? We’ve all been there, so just let it be what it is, and we’ll see you bright and fresh Monday morning. #YarraTrams
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat
November 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat
Unfortunately we have to end the week on a sour note. Due to our horse still yet to cross the line in the Cup, fares are increasing by 1000% for the next week. It’s either that or a Colourful Racing Identity is going to keep taking fingers until our debt is paid off. #YarraTrams
November 6, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Unfortunately we have to end the week on a sour note. Due to our horse still yet to cross the line in the Cup, fares are increasing by 1000% for the next week. It’s either that or a Colourful Racing Identity is going to keep taking fingers until our debt is paid off. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Oaks Day Nov 6 2008 and feet replace trains on the Flemington Racecourse line due to Connex Trains failing. A year later @fakemetrotrains took over and things got even worse. It’s why it’s always smarter to travel to things on #YarraTrams.
November 5, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Oaks Day Nov 6 2008 and feet replace trains on the Flemington Racecourse line due to Connex Trains failing. A year later @fakemetrotrains took over and things got even worse. It’s why it’s always smarter to travel to things on #YarraTrams.
If you miss your tram today please blame Channel 7. Sure we have the tram running contract, and have been doing it for years, but Channel 7 once showed a tv show with a tram in it, and many people think they run the network. So it’s only right they get blamed. #YarraTrams
November 4, 2025 at 9:30 PM
If you miss your tram today please blame Channel 7. Sure we have the tram running contract, and have been doing it for years, but Channel 7 once showed a tv show with a tram in it, and many people think they run the network. So it’s only right they get blamed. #YarraTrams
Well done to Half Yours on winning your horsey race. Just a reminder the other half is mine, and I’ll take your half too if I want. ~Depot Cat
November 4, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Well done to Half Yours on winning your horsey race. Just a reminder the other half is mine, and I’ll take your half too if I want. ~Depot Cat
Hurry up Buttercup, or we’ll be late to the event that stops the nation. I’m not going to miss out on the awesome kebabs from the van outside of Flemington. It opens just in time for all the drunks leaving after the last race. Now get a move on! ~Depot Cat
November 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Hurry up Buttercup, or we’ll be late to the event that stops the nation. I’m not going to miss out on the awesome kebabs from the van outside of Flemington. It opens just in time for all the drunks leaving after the last race. Now get a move on! ~Depot Cat
I’m not enjoying this weather. Who do I scratch about it? ~Depot Cat
November 3, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I’m not enjoying this weather. Who do I scratch about it? ~Depot Cat
Is today a public holiday? It feels like it is. Mmmm, we’ll just run a Saturday timetable, and say there are extra trams, that should be a good enough excuse. Time to go back to bed and enjoy the day off. #YarraTrams
November 2, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Is today a public holiday? It feels like it is. Mmmm, we’ll just run a Saturday timetable, and say there are extra trams, that should be a good enough excuse. Time to go back to bed and enjoy the day off. #YarraTrams
Looks like the LED display is broken. That first letter is an E not an F, so I better go eat. ~Depot Cat
November 1, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Looks like the LED display is broken. That first letter is an E not an F, so I better go eat. ~Depot Cat
#YarraTrams is getting into the spirit of Halloween today with a bit of trick or treating. When you see a tram approaching it will be a shiny new E class. But surprise! It’s actually a Z class wearing a mask, and the floor is covered in vomit from someone eating too many lollies.
October 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
#YarraTrams is getting into the spirit of Halloween today with a bit of trick or treating. When you see a tram approaching it will be a shiny new E class. But surprise! It’s actually a Z class wearing a mask, and the floor is covered in vomit from someone eating too many lollies.
It’s Halloween, so you have to give me stuff for dressing up. This year I’m a kebab, so that means you have to give me a kebab. It’s the law, and I put a lot of effort into this, so hurry up. ~Depot Cat
October 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
It’s Halloween, so you have to give me stuff for dressing up. This year I’m a kebab, so that means you have to give me a kebab. It’s the law, and I put a lot of effort into this, so hurry up. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: 1924, W.304 after delivery from Adelaide being unloaded by crane in the Spencer St Yards. The tram was built in Adelaide by the Holden Bodyworks. These days the crane, the yard, Holden, and we’re pretty sure Adelaide as well no longer exist. #YarraTrams
October 29, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: 1924, W.304 after delivery from Adelaide being unloaded by crane in the Spencer St Yards. The tram was built in Adelaide by the Holden Bodyworks. These days the crane, the yard, Holden, and we’re pretty sure Adelaide as well no longer exist. #YarraTrams
Struggling with your exams? For the low low price of just $299 and five kebabs, you can tell them your cat ate your homework, and I’ll happily take the blame.
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
October 29, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Struggling with your exams? For the low low price of just $299 and five kebabs, you can tell them your cat ate your homework, and I’ll happily take the blame.
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat