Free will and meth is a great combo, highly recommend it."

...I pumped a hobo full of Sriracha and garlic and used him to marinate my body farm. Fun trivia note, I arranged those hobo corpses to spell out FU AL because I don't believe in miracles, I think every man should be in charge of his own destiny.

and I’m gonna spend half of the next day at Men’s Warehouse which is already gonna be understaffed because the last counter guy just bled out on your loafers and all you have to show for your work has to be shoved in a crock pot because it’s not display worthy. That’s an ugly half, Chris."

#NEatBUF

The hobo is screaming in your ear like a medieval fishwife and it’s like, dude, chill out, you’re making it take longer. Do you want this to be a mess? So you finally get in there with your hands and snap him apart only now the cut is all ragged and there’s blood all over my suit

Still working on that one, but if you’re near the ditch behind MetLife stadium and you hear some meowing, throw Bobo some catnip. Ravens lined up to throw deep on third down…” #BALvsBUF

...Either the cat or the hobo, but ideally a hobo-cat hybrid I was going to call a ‘hobat’ and sell them because they’d be a lot more sanitary in your average basement dungeon.

...It's all about motivation, but sure, the Eagles are motivated to win this game. Hurts comes out under center " (3/3)

Did you know that's one of the classic mathematical problems, how to trisect an angle? I don't think Pythagoras tried hard enough because I've seen hobos who couldn't tell you what C squared is make some absolutely surgical cuts. (2/3)

#FlyEaglesFly #NFLKickoff