Great article.

Defence is more accurate. If a victim questions ‘if they too are abusive’ because of how they respond, I remind them it’s about intent. Their response is about protecting, being heard & seen & to get it all to stop. The abuser creates it all to harm, dominate & control the victim.

If I’d had to engage with my abuser in any way after leaving it would have retraumatised me & impeded my healing. Whoever led the sessions would need to be fully trauma & abuse informed and we know that would never happen. It’s wrong & harmful on so many levels

Thank you. It’s frustrating & infuriating that FC (or anyone advising them)would even consider this as a viable option. The trauma victims sustain from their abuse takes years to recover from. The abuser would manipulate the sessions & try to hold all the power & lie & deflect their behaviours .

This is a terribly dangerous idea! Therapy with my abuser was total hell. He triangulated the therapist against me, then went on to manipulate me & weaponise everything I’d said in the sessions to deliberately cause me maximum harm. 100 times worse afterwards - which is why it’s not recommended.

I agree! I started watching it around the time both my parents died. Season 2 was fab & I think I cried every episode of Season 6.

Such a wonderful series! To be honest, I’ve thought about watching it all again.

How does this keep happening time and time again? I repeatedly have women telling me about councils denying them support when leaving an abuser. It makes it so difficult for victims to leave as they literally have nowhere to go.

It doesn’t help when abuse service providers don’t even understand the complexity of abuse. They quoted the 7 attempts to leave & told me that as I had left & gone back more than 7 times they’d no longer support me & not to bother contacting them again. Left me with nowhere to get help for 2yrs

Well done ladies. Well deserved.

Agreed. There’s still far too many post domestic abuse victims being stalked by their ex abusers & stalking incidents not being investigated or taken seriously by the police.

This constant narrative prevents victims speaking out. They fear their experience not being believed because we repeatedly see the “nice bloke” or “the man with money/power” versus the “oversensitive woman” and victim blaming/shaming culture playing out time after time. Enough is enough!

My IDVA was my lifeline when I left my abuser & went through court proceedings. I will be eternally grateful for her help, support, kindness & patience at the worst time of my life. She kept my head above the water while I was drowning in the after effects of trauma. IDVAs are pure gold!

I can remember repeatedly saying to the police officer taking my statement “He deliberately hit my surgery site. He deliberately did it. That’s pure evil.” It was a shock but it propelled me to a happy & fulfilled life away from him & is why I now advocate for domestic abuse victims.

His final act of abuse was so abhorrent that I finally realised he was making a deliberate choice to hit a 2wk old surgery site to maximise my pain. It was so calculated, I couldn’t excuse it “as an accident”. It was like the scales falling off my eyes & seeing the whole truth all at once.