JIMINY GLICK: Now you, you, you, you—your cars, they tend to run over pedestrians. Or else BURST into flames. ha HA isn't that wonderful!
ELON MUSK: *the least convincing laugh of all time*
GLICK: *tucking his legs under himself* You bought a website where no one likes you. Why?

I was just looking at Twitter, and every thread has like 5 ads for those stupid 3D laser-etched lucite plaques that you can have a photo of your dog on

I had to park in the parking garage at work after my dental appointment today, as all the special, close parking spots were taken. I felt like Anna Delvey at a non-VIP spa

Help! I have coworkers who unironically write things like "Teamwork = Dreamwork" in the group chat

This is my first post on Bluesky. I am/was @Faber_Indeed on the birdsite. If you know me from there, say hi and follow me (if you want to)