Shannon *pɹıǝʍ puɐ pǝʇɐlosı*
@essjay90.bsky.social
Please allow 3-5 days advance notice for social interactions. Thank you.
Pinned
Those born under Pacific Northwest skies are like daffodils, they can achieve beauty only after a long, cold sulk in the rain. - 𝐿𝑒𝓈𝓁𝓎𝑒 𝒲𝒶𝓁𝓉𝑜𝓃, T̲h̲e̲ ̲S̲t̲r̲a̲n̲g̲e̲ ̲a̲n̲d̲ ̲B̲e̲a̲u̲t̲i̲f̲u̲l̲ ̲S̲o̲r̲r̲o̲w̲s̲ ̲o̲f̲ ̲A̲v̲a̲ ̲L̲a̲v̲e̲n̲d̲e̲r̲
There are too many messaging apps. I will only be responding to carrier pigeons from now on.
December 23, 2025 at 1:26 PM
There are too many messaging apps. I will only be responding to carrier pigeons from now on.
At my daughter's Christmas Program and I am too bah humbug for this.
December 10, 2025 at 1:50 AM
At my daughter's Christmas Program and I am too bah humbug for this.
Friend: I found a single man for you!
Me: Is he in possession of a large fortune?
Me: Is he in possession of a large fortune?
November 30, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Friend: I found a single man for you!
Me: Is he in possession of a large fortune?
Me: Is he in possession of a large fortune?
(threatening my daughter in December)
Behave or you're getting a furby for Christmas.
Behave or you're getting a furby for Christmas.
November 29, 2025 at 4:06 AM
(threatening my daughter in December)
Behave or you're getting a furby for Christmas.
Behave or you're getting a furby for Christmas.
*cat sitting in my lap*
I gotta get up sweetie.
*starts purring louder*
I gotta get up sweetie.
*starts purring louder*
November 25, 2025 at 2:18 PM
*cat sitting in my lap*
I gotta get up sweetie.
*starts purring louder*
I gotta get up sweetie.
*starts purring louder*
Introduce yourself with four spaceships.
November 25, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Introduce yourself with four spaceships.
That was one hell of a book hangover.
November 22, 2025 at 9:17 PM
That was one hell of a book hangover.
Reposted by Shannon *pɹıǝʍ puɐ pǝʇɐlosı*
The random urge to get into falconry as a hobby.
November 16, 2025 at 2:55 PM
The random urge to get into falconry as a hobby.
"Waiting mode" has bested me again.
November 14, 2025 at 6:26 PM
"Waiting mode" has bested me again.
Tips to spice up your bedroom:
-Cinnamon candle
-Hang up some peppers (ristras)
-
*someone whispers in my ear* Wait, that's not what that means?
-Cinnamon candle
-Hang up some peppers (ristras)
-
*someone whispers in my ear* Wait, that's not what that means?
November 13, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Tips to spice up your bedroom:
-Cinnamon candle
-Hang up some peppers (ristras)
-
*someone whispers in my ear* Wait, that's not what that means?
-Cinnamon candle
-Hang up some peppers (ristras)
-
*someone whispers in my ear* Wait, that's not what that means?
Trying to read but I'm too busy laughing about toilet paper roll math.
November 10, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Trying to read but I'm too busy laughing about toilet paper roll math.
*goes to bedroom to put on pj's but gets distracted by cat*
November 8, 2025 at 2:38 AM
*goes to bedroom to put on pj's but gets distracted by cat*
Sequoia has too many vowels in a row and it bothers me.
November 7, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Sequoia has too many vowels in a row and it bothers me.
Reposted by Shannon *pɹıǝʍ puɐ pǝʇɐlosı*
great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"
November 6, 2025 at 7:55 PM
great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"
Wish we were here
November 6, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Wish we were here
My husband and I celebrated our 13th anniversary today. Here are my secrets to a happy and successful marriage:
• patience
• understanding
•always assume best intentions
• Once a year on the full moon slaughter a goat, rub it's blood on a tree, invoke Hera and ask for her favor
• communication
• patience
• understanding
•always assume best intentions
• Once a year on the full moon slaughter a goat, rub it's blood on a tree, invoke Hera and ask for her favor
• communication
November 4, 2025 at 4:58 AM
My husband and I celebrated our 13th anniversary today. Here are my secrets to a happy and successful marriage:
• patience
• understanding
•always assume best intentions
• Once a year on the full moon slaughter a goat, rub it's blood on a tree, invoke Hera and ask for her favor
• communication
• patience
• understanding
•always assume best intentions
• Once a year on the full moon slaughter a goat, rub it's blood on a tree, invoke Hera and ask for her favor
• communication
My husband: You used to be cool.
Me (offended): I was never cool.
Me (offended): I was never cool.
November 4, 2025 at 2:08 AM
My husband: You used to be cool.
Me (offended): I was never cool.
Me (offended): I was never cool.
When you're an introvert, every house with people in it is a haunted house.
October 30, 2025 at 3:40 PM
When you're an introvert, every house with people in it is a haunted house.
*standing in a meadow*
I wish I had a piano.
*Piano falls from the sky and crashes on the ground in front of me*
What the hell?
I wish I had a piano.
*Piano falls from the sky and crashes on the ground in front of me*
What the hell?
October 22, 2025 at 7:43 PM
*standing in a meadow*
I wish I had a piano.
*Piano falls from the sky and crashes on the ground in front of me*
What the hell?
I wish I had a piano.
*Piano falls from the sky and crashes on the ground in front of me*
What the hell?
Reposted by Shannon *pɹıǝʍ puɐ pǝʇɐlosı*
Idk what it says about 2025 that were all like “ooh look a heist, finally something whimsical” but it’s not good
October 22, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Idk what it says about 2025 that were all like “ooh look a heist, finally something whimsical” but it’s not good
Why the fuck am I getting ads for diapers?
October 22, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Why the fuck am I getting ads for diapers?
Today I managed sphinx with cat spine.
Today during yoga I did down dog with cat spine. (cat jumped on my back during down dog)
October 20, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Today I managed sphinx with cat spine.
Sitting on the Jetty
Next to my teddy
I'm getting ready
To eat spaghetti
Over there's a yeti
Her name is Betty
The other one is Freddy
They are going steady
Their argument is petty
#poetry
Next to my teddy
I'm getting ready
To eat spaghetti
Over there's a yeti
Her name is Betty
The other one is Freddy
They are going steady
Their argument is petty
#poetry
October 13, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Sitting on the Jetty
Next to my teddy
I'm getting ready
To eat spaghetti
Over there's a yeti
Her name is Betty
The other one is Freddy
They are going steady
Their argument is petty
#poetry
Next to my teddy
I'm getting ready
To eat spaghetti
Over there's a yeti
Her name is Betty
The other one is Freddy
They are going steady
Their argument is petty
#poetry
Got one of those stalking apps to keep track of my kid and found out the stalking works both ways.
October 13, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Got one of those stalking apps to keep track of my kid and found out the stalking works both ways.