Eric the Read
@emschwar.bsky.social
Thank God for time zones, I made it just in time for Goku!
November 27, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Thank God for time zones, I made it just in time for Goku!
"Did you finish that sculpture of the king?"
"Sure did, boss, real fuckin dorky, just like you asked."
"Sure did, boss, real fuckin dorky, just like you asked."
November 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
"Did you finish that sculpture of the king?"
"Sure did, boss, real fuckin dorky, just like you asked."
"Sure did, boss, real fuckin dorky, just like you asked."
By the standards of voters, apparently.
November 24, 2025 at 4:00 PM
By the standards of voters, apparently.
My 3yo has been going around telling people she wants to be a race car for Christmas.
November 24, 2025 at 3:21 PM
My 3yo has been going around telling people she wants to be a race car for Christmas.
Me, I'm a Taurus. We don't go in for that astrology stuff.
November 23, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Me, I'm a Taurus. We don't go in for that astrology stuff.
When they opened a Goodwill across from the grocery store, that's when I got off nextdoor.
November 11, 2025 at 11:49 PM
When they opened a Goodwill across from the grocery store, that's when I got off nextdoor.
"We're actors-- we're the opposite of people!" Tom Stoppard, "Rosecrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"
November 8, 2025 at 7:47 PM
"We're actors-- we're the opposite of people!" Tom Stoppard, "Rosecrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"
Shorter Eric Adams:
a south park cartoon character says screw you guys i 'm going home
Alt: a south park cartoon character says screw you guys i 'm going home
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Shorter Eric Adams:
I understand this is probably heresy, or at least heterodoxy, but I am the only person in my family who likes ham and peas in my mac and cheese.
November 5, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I understand this is probably heresy, or at least heterodoxy, but I am the only person in my family who likes ham and peas in my mac and cheese.
A vampire that's not Dracula
October 30, 2025 at 4:32 AM
A vampire that's not Dracula
Followers, or butts?
October 25, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Followers, or butts?
**Keep us limber too
October 25, 2025 at 1:59 AM
**Keep us limber too
What's the difference between a frog in a car and a clarinetist in a car? The frog's probably going to a gig.
October 15, 2025 at 1:20 PM
What's the difference between a frog in a car and a clarinetist in a car? The frog's probably going to a gig.
How specific could those pardons get? Could you, for instance, pardon anyone who paid taxes according to "the schedule outlined herein..."?
September 27, 2025 at 4:36 PM
How specific could those pardons get? Could you, for instance, pardon anyone who paid taxes according to "the schedule outlined herein..."?
How else could I know it wasn't a dignified twist?
September 22, 2025 at 3:05 PM
How else could I know it wasn't a dignified twist?