And this is why I prefer murder birdies to people
June 19, 2025 at 9:07 PM
And this is why I prefer murder birdies to people
Finally getting around to reading Dumplin' and now I'm mad at myself for waiting so long. I've highlighted half the book on my Kindle.
May 24, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Finally getting around to reading Dumplin' and now I'm mad at myself for waiting so long. I've highlighted half the book on my Kindle.
So glad the party of limited government is in charge so we don’t have a puppy killer trying to control a private university. #HarvardUniversity
May 23, 2025 at 4:53 AM
So glad the party of limited government is in charge so we don’t have a puppy killer trying to control a private university. #HarvardUniversity
At this point I’m hoping RFK Jr contracts giardia so that he’s just constantly shitting himself. He and Trump can have a shit off.
May 14, 2025 at 10:27 PM
At this point I’m hoping RFK Jr contracts giardia so that he’s just constantly shitting himself. He and Trump can have a shit off.
I’m honor of my birthday tomorrow, an acne breakout decided to accompany my midlife crisis. But don’t worry, I picked it until it bled.
April 15, 2025 at 2:30 AM
I’m honor of my birthday tomorrow, an acne breakout decided to accompany my midlife crisis. But don’t worry, I picked it until it bled.
Do the Black Mirror writers need a hug?
April 14, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Do the Black Mirror writers need a hug?
Please let The Simpsons be right just one more time.
April 12, 2025 at 6:51 AM
Please let The Simpsons be right just one more time.
Excuse you, those are my emotional support tiny pieces of face framing hair from the 90s and you can pry them from my cold, dead hands.
April 10, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Excuse you, those are my emotional support tiny pieces of face framing hair from the 90s and you can pry them from my cold, dead hands.
The real crime: blatant stock market manipulation and insider trading.
The distraction: apparently the water pressure at Mar-a-Lago suck so now MTV’s Sean Duffy is on Fox talking about making showers and dishwashers great again.
The distraction: apparently the water pressure at Mar-a-Lago suck so now MTV’s Sean Duffy is on Fox talking about making showers and dishwashers great again.
April 10, 2025 at 12:40 AM
The real crime: blatant stock market manipulation and insider trading.
The distraction: apparently the water pressure at Mar-a-Lago suck so now MTV’s Sean Duffy is on Fox talking about making showers and dishwashers great again.
The distraction: apparently the water pressure at Mar-a-Lago suck so now MTV’s Sean Duffy is on Fox talking about making showers and dishwashers great again.
Everyone who used Stridex acne pads in middle school should be entitled to financial compensation.
April 4, 2025 at 6:39 AM
Everyone who used Stridex acne pads in middle school should be entitled to financial compensation.
My son and I talked about Cory Booker's amazing feat today. He said he felt really hopeful after that and he hopes Booker will be president someday.
However, he dozed off for ten minutes before fully waking back up and MY DUDE, THIS IS NOT THE WAY I WANTED CORY BOOKER TO INSPIRE YOU, GO TO BED.
However, he dozed off for ten minutes before fully waking back up and MY DUDE, THIS IS NOT THE WAY I WANTED CORY BOOKER TO INSPIRE YOU, GO TO BED.
April 2, 2025 at 5:20 AM
My son and I talked about Cory Booker's amazing feat today. He said he felt really hopeful after that and he hopes Booker will be president someday.
However, he dozed off for ten minutes before fully waking back up and MY DUDE, THIS IS NOT THE WAY I WANTED CORY BOOKER TO INSPIRE YOU, GO TO BED.
However, he dozed off for ten minutes before fully waking back up and MY DUDE, THIS IS NOT THE WAY I WANTED CORY BOOKER TO INSPIRE YOU, GO TO BED.
Finally watching The Last of Us. I just watched episode 3 and I am NOT OKAY 😭🍓
March 26, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Finally watching The Last of Us. I just watched episode 3 and I am NOT OKAY 😭🍓
Pretty sure Hegseth is supporting multiple Nigerian princes and his computer is so laden with malware that it moves slower than dial up.
March 25, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Pretty sure Hegseth is supporting multiple Nigerian princes and his computer is so laden with malware that it moves slower than dial up.
What in the Lindsay Graham is happening in this photo
March 25, 2025 at 3:55 AM
What in the Lindsay Graham is happening in this photo
Can someone just fucking do it already
March 23, 2025 at 6:08 AM
Can someone just fucking do it already
Reading the new Hunger Games book because I want to be prepared for what's coming next.
March 19, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Reading the new Hunger Games book because I want to be prepared for what's coming next.
Listened to Dropkick Murphys in honor of the holiday and now I'm ready to go punch some Nazis.
March 18, 2025 at 6:33 AM
Listened to Dropkick Murphys in honor of the holiday and now I'm ready to go punch some Nazis.
I hope JD Vance eats a bag of sugar-free Haribo gummy bears right before going in front of Congress and then shits himself on C-SPAN.
March 16, 2025 at 8:05 PM
I hope JD Vance eats a bag of sugar-free Haribo gummy bears right before going in front of Congress and then shits himself on C-SPAN.
First thing that came to mind when JD Vance got booed at the Kennedy Center. I hope he never knows a moment's peace and that he always has a a rock in his shoe.
March 16, 2025 at 6:35 AM
First thing that came to mind when JD Vance got booed at the Kennedy Center. I hope he never knows a moment's peace and that he always has a a rock in his shoe.
I was hoping the Ides of March would take out a person (or two) but I guess I'd take the death of Tesla instead.
March 15, 2025 at 6:41 PM
I was hoping the Ides of March would take out a person (or two) but I guess I'd take the death of Tesla instead.
The Fast and the Führer-ious
March 14, 2025 at 3:37 AM
The Fast and the Führer-ious
Reposted by Emily Bananafone
A commercial for a car that explodes happening at the White House feels like a metaphor.
March 11, 2025 at 10:17 PM
A commercial for a car that explodes happening at the White House feels like a metaphor.
I thought my glasses were clean until I used a lens wipe today and based on how much clearer my vision is now, I’ll be retiring to the swamp like the goblin I apparently am.
March 11, 2025 at 4:01 AM
I thought my glasses were clean until I used a lens wipe today and based on how much clearer my vision is now, I’ll be retiring to the swamp like the goblin I apparently am.
How much money do you think groups like the Westboro Baptist Church spends each year on craft supplies? It’s honestly kind of hilarious to think of them walking by a display of glitter pens in Michael’s so they can tell everyone they’re going to burn in hell
March 10, 2025 at 4:14 AM
How much money do you think groups like the Westboro Baptist Church spends each year on craft supplies? It’s honestly kind of hilarious to think of them walking by a display of glitter pens in Michael’s so they can tell everyone they’re going to burn in hell