Nobody is the main character in a relationship, and good relationships require being as invested in your partner getting to have a say, a feeling, an experience, an opinion, etc. as yourself

I think pithiness can be valuable though and I don't have a better idea for an alternative word yet. Open to suggestions!

Maybe it's just me, but the problem has never seemed to be the volume of thought so much as when the thoughts are associated with bad emotional experiences, like a ruminative spiral, or reinforcing mean judgments or self criticism, or a form of procrastinating on something, etc.

This would probably have worked better had you asked it aloud in the room where we both are.