Michael T.
@emceetee.bsky.social
Oeste de PR based 30-something dog dad
Having straight coworkers is so exhausting. Today I got asked, “how gay is Virginia?”
Idk, are you asking me about the state or the Woolf?
Idk, are you asking me about the state or the Woolf?
November 14, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Having straight coworkers is so exhausting. Today I got asked, “how gay is Virginia?”
Idk, are you asking me about the state or the Woolf?
Idk, are you asking me about the state or the Woolf?
Silly pope…. you forgot to add “from Justin to Kelly” to the list.
November 12, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Silly pope…. you forgot to add “from Justin to Kelly” to the list.
I wish my boyfriend called and texted me as much as Walgreens does.
November 11, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I wish my boyfriend called and texted me as much as Walgreens does.
How it feels every time I get left out of one of your damn squircle things
November 10, 2025 at 8:09 PM
How it feels every time I get left out of one of your damn squircle things
Thinking about quitting IG because i can’t stand the *slams laptop shut til Monday* meme
Every. Fucking. Friday.
Every. Fucking. Friday.
November 7, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Thinking about quitting IG because i can’t stand the *slams laptop shut til Monday* meme
Every. Fucking. Friday.
Every. Fucking. Friday.
When you give your plants fresh soil and a bigger pot and they immediately start to die.
November 7, 2025 at 10:16 PM
When you give your plants fresh soil and a bigger pot and they immediately start to die.
Debra Messing stuns in new red carpet photo.
November 6, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Debra Messing stuns in new red carpet photo.
My boy jammin’ out to ELO.
November 6, 2025 at 3:12 PM
My boy jammin’ out to ELO.
At the vet with Buck, my most perfect boy. He gives the rectal thermometer 2/10.
November 6, 2025 at 2:14 PM
At the vet with Buck, my most perfect boy. He gives the rectal thermometer 2/10.
These damn neighborhood kids keep leaving their K in the street
November 6, 2025 at 1:08 PM
These damn neighborhood kids keep leaving their K in the street
What do you mean my 80 year old dentist retired!? I didn’t approve that.
November 3, 2025 at 2:54 PM
What do you mean my 80 year old dentist retired!? I didn’t approve that.
Where’s that cute Irwin boy? I need help.
November 2, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Where’s that cute Irwin boy? I need help.
This morning sun got me feeling TRADE.
*immediately plays immaterial by sophie
*immediately plays immaterial by sophie
November 2, 2025 at 1:06 PM
This morning sun got me feeling TRADE.
*immediately plays immaterial by sophie
*immediately plays immaterial by sophie
Hiding from the trick or treaters because I forgot to buy candy.
Stop taxing the middle class, go to the wealthy neighborhood down the road ya dumb brats!
Stop taxing the middle class, go to the wealthy neighborhood down the road ya dumb brats!
November 1, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Hiding from the trick or treaters because I forgot to buy candy.
Stop taxing the middle class, go to the wealthy neighborhood down the road ya dumb brats!
Stop taxing the middle class, go to the wealthy neighborhood down the road ya dumb brats!
I feel like all straight men who smoke cigarettes are a little bit DL…can someone back me up on this?
October 31, 2025 at 10:48 PM
I feel like all straight men who smoke cigarettes are a little bit DL…can someone back me up on this?
I’m so hungry but I just feel like going to the lasagna truck before 8pm would be reaching a new low.
October 28, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I’m so hungry but I just feel like going to the lasagna truck before 8pm would be reaching a new low.
I think it’s stupid how technology is only focused on advancements in AI and quantum computing. What about cryosleep!?
C’mon, lemme nap for 20 years.
C’mon, lemme nap for 20 years.
October 27, 2025 at 7:03 PM
I think it’s stupid how technology is only focused on advancements in AI and quantum computing. What about cryosleep!?
C’mon, lemme nap for 20 years.
C’mon, lemme nap for 20 years.
I hate when you get an oil change and they ask what kind of oil you want. Idk, swiss navy?
October 27, 2025 at 5:43 PM
I hate when you get an oil change and they ask what kind of oil you want. Idk, swiss navy?
The only ballroom I care about.
October 23, 2025 at 9:43 PM
The only ballroom I care about.
Will literally give a semi decent handjob to anyone willing to help vacuum my car.
October 21, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Will literally give a semi decent handjob to anyone willing to help vacuum my car.
Anyone else get this ad everyday and think…”where did she get her dress made?”
October 21, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Anyone else get this ad everyday and think…”where did she get her dress made?”
People always abandon the cutest puppies at my job. Somebody adopt this lil guy!
October 19, 2025 at 6:56 PM
People always abandon the cutest puppies at my job. Somebody adopt this lil guy!
Just caught my dog trying to sneak onto my pillow so she could comfortably lick her vagina. Domesticated animal my ass!
October 19, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Just caught my dog trying to sneak onto my pillow so she could comfortably lick her vagina. Domesticated animal my ass!
Whenever I have anxiety about being 36…I remember when I was 22 and went to hook up with a 36 year old amateur DJ.
I sat there for 2 HOURS while he tried to make a club mix to ‘The A Team’ by Ed Sheeran. A song about a homeless crackhead.
I think I’m doing ok for 36.
I sat there for 2 HOURS while he tried to make a club mix to ‘The A Team’ by Ed Sheeran. A song about a homeless crackhead.
I think I’m doing ok for 36.
October 17, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Whenever I have anxiety about being 36…I remember when I was 22 and went to hook up with a 36 year old amateur DJ.
I sat there for 2 HOURS while he tried to make a club mix to ‘The A Team’ by Ed Sheeran. A song about a homeless crackhead.
I think I’m doing ok for 36.
I sat there for 2 HOURS while he tried to make a club mix to ‘The A Team’ by Ed Sheeran. A song about a homeless crackhead.
I think I’m doing ok for 36.
I wish I could be cute and get some work done at a coffee shop. I just feel weird making a ‘DO NOT FLUSH TAMPONS’ sign on Canva in public…
October 14, 2025 at 12:21 PM
I wish I could be cute and get some work done at a coffee shop. I just feel weird making a ‘DO NOT FLUSH TAMPONS’ sign on Canva in public…