eel, i
@eliacugini.bsky.social
media/culture writer, autofiction phd student, public-facing transsexual. he/they
i’m going to make yellow and green happen if it kills me
May 24, 2025 at 11:09 PM
i’m going to make yellow and green happen if it kills me
reminder that if you are a cool and sexy outlet, you could do a really cool and sexy thing during pride month by commissioning one of the UK's Extremely Small Number of trans people actively working in culture journalism. such as me hi
May 10, 2025 at 5:57 PM
reminder that if you are a cool and sexy outlet, you could do a really cool and sexy thing during pride month by commissioning one of the UK's Extremely Small Number of trans people actively working in culture journalism. such as me hi
this feels like a weird and disorientating time to be on holiday but i’m gonna take the rest before rejoining the work. here’s my gf looking bomb in a rollercoaster queue btw
April 17, 2025 at 2:57 PM
this feels like a weird and disorientating time to be on holiday but i’m gonna take the rest before rejoining the work. here’s my gf looking bomb in a rollercoaster queue btw
out of 12 comedians at the frog and bucket gong show last night, i was one of only 4 to beat the gong! here's a clip from my set :)
March 25, 2025 at 7:28 PM
out of 12 comedians at the frog and bucket gong show last night, i was one of only 4 to beat the gong! here's a clip from my set :)
didn’t know it was possible for a balatro run to go this badly
February 27, 2025 at 8:03 PM
didn’t know it was possible for a balatro run to go this badly
[lifts gun] and the last
February 15, 2025 at 7:50 PM
[lifts gun] and the last
have been alone all week and i miss my angels 😤
February 15, 2025 at 11:12 AM
have been alone all week and i miss my angels 😤
60. ELLIE GOULDING AND CALVIN HARRIS - 'MIRACLE'
Every time I listen to this I want to come away with some sort of memory, or emotion, and I just forget it the second it stops playing. Listening to it feels like trying to solve being hungry by hitting a cake flavoured vape.
Every time I listen to this I want to come away with some sort of memory, or emotion, and I just forget it the second it stops playing. Listening to it feels like trying to solve being hungry by hitting a cake flavoured vape.
February 13, 2025 at 12:57 PM
60. ELLIE GOULDING AND CALVIN HARRIS - 'MIRACLE'
Every time I listen to this I want to come away with some sort of memory, or emotion, and I just forget it the second it stops playing. Listening to it feels like trying to solve being hungry by hitting a cake flavoured vape.
Every time I listen to this I want to come away with some sort of memory, or emotion, and I just forget it the second it stops playing. Listening to it feels like trying to solve being hungry by hitting a cake flavoured vape.
61. JACK HARLOW - 'LOVIN ON ME'
The only thing that matters about this song is the sample and it's not artfully used. BTW, I am amused by Harlow's perception of kink, where 'choking' is vanilla as long as it does not lead to Murder.
The only thing that matters about this song is the sample and it's not artfully used. BTW, I am amused by Harlow's perception of kink, where 'choking' is vanilla as long as it does not lead to Murder.
February 13, 2025 at 12:57 PM
61. JACK HARLOW - 'LOVIN ON ME'
The only thing that matters about this song is the sample and it's not artfully used. BTW, I am amused by Harlow's perception of kink, where 'choking' is vanilla as long as it does not lead to Murder.
The only thing that matters about this song is the sample and it's not artfully used. BTW, I am amused by Harlow's perception of kink, where 'choking' is vanilla as long as it does not lead to Murder.
62. ELTON JOHN AND ED SHEERAN - 'MERRY CHRISTMAS'
I am sure there is someone, somewhere, who felt immense solace having Ed Sheeran sing to them about the pain of the first two COVID years. I wish to have their brain. Life would be simpler.
I am sure there is someone, somewhere, who felt immense solace having Ed Sheeran sing to them about the pain of the first two COVID years. I wish to have their brain. Life would be simpler.
February 13, 2025 at 12:57 PM
62. ELTON JOHN AND ED SHEERAN - 'MERRY CHRISTMAS'
I am sure there is someone, somewhere, who felt immense solace having Ed Sheeran sing to them about the pain of the first two COVID years. I wish to have their brain. Life would be simpler.
I am sure there is someone, somewhere, who felt immense solace having Ed Sheeran sing to them about the pain of the first two COVID years. I wish to have their brain. Life would be simpler.
63. LEWIS CAPALDI - 'POINTLESS'
There is a very obvious joke I could make here. I will resist. All I will say is that I find Capaldi's shtick unbearable when his songs are not about loss. It only works when he's being hit with sticks and road vehicles.
There is a very obvious joke I could make here. I will resist. All I will say is that I find Capaldi's shtick unbearable when his songs are not about loss. It only works when he's being hit with sticks and road vehicles.
February 13, 2025 at 12:57 PM
63. LEWIS CAPALDI - 'POINTLESS'
There is a very obvious joke I could make here. I will resist. All I will say is that I find Capaldi's shtick unbearable when his songs are not about loss. It only works when he's being hit with sticks and road vehicles.
There is a very obvious joke I could make here. I will resist. All I will say is that I find Capaldi's shtick unbearable when his songs are not about loss. It only works when he's being hit with sticks and road vehicles.
64. EMINEM - 'HOUDINI'
Someone let this sad man, and his even sadder supporting vocalists, die. No, I mean it. Why do they sound like they need to unionise?
Someone let this sad man, and his even sadder supporting vocalists, die. No, I mean it. Why do they sound like they need to unionise?
February 13, 2025 at 12:56 PM
64. EMINEM - 'HOUDINI'
Someone let this sad man, and his even sadder supporting vocalists, die. No, I mean it. Why do they sound like they need to unionise?
Someone let this sad man, and his even sadder supporting vocalists, die. No, I mean it. Why do they sound like they need to unionise?
65. LIVE LOUNGE ALLSTARS - 'TIMES LIKE THESE'
Irritating, but in a forgivable it's-a-COVID-charity-single way (God knows it's better than Imagine). The AJ Tracey rap is however the funniest thing I have seen all week. I cannot read it to people without them making me stop.
Irritating, but in a forgivable it's-a-COVID-charity-single way (God knows it's better than Imagine). The AJ Tracey rap is however the funniest thing I have seen all week. I cannot read it to people without them making me stop.
February 13, 2025 at 12:56 PM
65. LIVE LOUNGE ALLSTARS - 'TIMES LIKE THESE'
Irritating, but in a forgivable it's-a-COVID-charity-single way (God knows it's better than Imagine). The AJ Tracey rap is however the funniest thing I have seen all week. I cannot read it to people without them making me stop.
Irritating, but in a forgivable it's-a-COVID-charity-single way (God knows it's better than Imagine). The AJ Tracey rap is however the funniest thing I have seen all week. I cannot read it to people without them making me stop.
66. MICHAEL BALL AND CAPTAIN TOM MOORE - 'YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE'
With context, this charity duet is both very funny and deeply eerie - a song haunted by everything it had to exclude to make Captain Tom Moore a cuddly folk hero. Without context, it's uh. White noise.
With context, this charity duet is both very funny and deeply eerie - a song haunted by everything it had to exclude to make Captain Tom Moore a cuddly folk hero. Without context, it's uh. White noise.
February 13, 2025 at 12:56 PM
66. MICHAEL BALL AND CAPTAIN TOM MOORE - 'YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE'
With context, this charity duet is both very funny and deeply eerie - a song haunted by everything it had to exclude to make Captain Tom Moore a cuddly folk hero. Without context, it's uh. White noise.
With context, this charity duet is both very funny and deeply eerie - a song haunted by everything it had to exclude to make Captain Tom Moore a cuddly folk hero. Without context, it's uh. White noise.
67. GAYLE - 'abcdefu'
TikTok giveth, and TikTok taketh away. Catchy and pissed off enough to avoid being musically null, but that hook is an automatic massive demerit. Unforgivable.
TikTok giveth, and TikTok taketh away. Catchy and pissed off enough to avoid being musically null, but that hook is an automatic massive demerit. Unforgivable.
February 13, 2025 at 12:56 PM
67. GAYLE - 'abcdefu'
TikTok giveth, and TikTok taketh away. Catchy and pissed off enough to avoid being musically null, but that hook is an automatic massive demerit. Unforgivable.
TikTok giveth, and TikTok taketh away. Catchy and pissed off enough to avoid being musically null, but that hook is an automatic massive demerit. Unforgivable.
68. JASON DERULO AND JAWSH 685 - 'SAVAGE LOVE'
The best thing you can say about this song is that it's difficult to be mad at it. It's bad in a funny and earnest way that inspires affection, like watching a toddler do karaoke. But at the supermarket that affection goes away.
The best thing you can say about this song is that it's difficult to be mad at it. It's bad in a funny and earnest way that inspires affection, like watching a toddler do karaoke. But at the supermarket that affection goes away.
February 13, 2025 at 12:56 PM
68. JASON DERULO AND JAWSH 685 - 'SAVAGE LOVE'
The best thing you can say about this song is that it's difficult to be mad at it. It's bad in a funny and earnest way that inspires affection, like watching a toddler do karaoke. But at the supermarket that affection goes away.
The best thing you can say about this song is that it's difficult to be mad at it. It's bad in a funny and earnest way that inspires affection, like watching a toddler do karaoke. But at the supermarket that affection goes away.
69. LADBABY - 'DON'T STOP ME EATIN''
The only LadBaby single of the 2020s to actually cover a pop song, and to include lines could 'charitably' be construed as funny. The Trussell Trust is by all accounts doing well, so we can safely rejoice in LadBaby's departure.
The only LadBaby single of the 2020s to actually cover a pop song, and to include lines could 'charitably' be construed as funny. The Trussell Trust is by all accounts doing well, so we can safely rejoice in LadBaby's departure.
February 13, 2025 at 12:54 PM
69. LADBABY - 'DON'T STOP ME EATIN''
The only LadBaby single of the 2020s to actually cover a pop song, and to include lines could 'charitably' be construed as funny. The Trussell Trust is by all accounts doing well, so we can safely rejoice in LadBaby's departure.
The only LadBaby single of the 2020s to actually cover a pop song, and to include lines could 'charitably' be construed as funny. The Trussell Trust is by all accounts doing well, so we can safely rejoice in LadBaby's departure.
70. LADBABY, ELTON JOHN, ED SHEERAN - 'SAUSAGE ROLLS FOR EVERYONE' (2021)
"Every pound for this song goes to helping the people along," they sing, knowing that nobody's finishing this track unless you emotionally blackmail them mid-listen.
"Every pound for this song goes to helping the people along," they sing, knowing that nobody's finishing this track unless you emotionally blackmail them mid-listen.
February 13, 2025 at 12:54 PM
70. LADBABY, ELTON JOHN, ED SHEERAN - 'SAUSAGE ROLLS FOR EVERYONE' (2021)
"Every pound for this song goes to helping the people along," they sing, knowing that nobody's finishing this track unless you emotionally blackmail them mid-listen.
"Every pound for this song goes to helping the people along," they sing, knowing that nobody's finishing this track unless you emotionally blackmail them mid-listen.
71. LADBABY - 'FOOD AID' (2022)
You have to work really, really hard to make a purposely bad charity single sound offputtingly smug. Awful, and the choice to revamp Live Aid has some...unfortunate political connotations. The track that ended the UK's sausage rolls era.
You have to work really, really hard to make a purposely bad charity single sound offputtingly smug. Awful, and the choice to revamp Live Aid has some...unfortunate political connotations. The track that ended the UK's sausage rolls era.
February 13, 2025 at 12:54 PM
71. LADBABY - 'FOOD AID' (2022)
You have to work really, really hard to make a purposely bad charity single sound offputtingly smug. Awful, and the choice to revamp Live Aid has some...unfortunate political connotations. The track that ended the UK's sausage rolls era.
You have to work really, really hard to make a purposely bad charity single sound offputtingly smug. Awful, and the choice to revamp Live Aid has some...unfortunate political connotations. The track that ended the UK's sausage rolls era.
i listened to and ranked every UK number 1 single of the 2020s: a thread.
February 13, 2025 at 12:54 PM
i listened to and ranked every UK number 1 single of the 2020s: a thread.
enjoying my new hobby :)
February 7, 2025 at 11:41 PM
enjoying my new hobby :)
merry christmas from me, alexandra, and our small adult son
December 25, 2024 at 11:05 AM
merry christmas from me, alexandra, and our small adult son
have found most 2024 releases i’ve seen this year to be kind of a letdown but i do think about these four all the time
December 12, 2024 at 11:17 PM
have found most 2024 releases i’ve seen this year to be kind of a letdown but i do think about these four all the time