The cloudening

Oh right, being person.

And it's like idk what my shot of even getting into an ivy would be so it could all be farfetched anyway

I hate knowing that prob the only chance I have of going to grad school and maybe getting a job out of it is to go to the Ivies bc there are a lot of neat programs elsewhere that I'd love to try out. But also their funding isn't as good.

I'll go get my rubber gloves

Yeah it was prob a contributing reason not realizing I was queer until my 30's x_x