I’m on the phone with Bell and heard a rooster in the background of the call. Actual transcript:
*rooster caws*
“Is there a rooster in the room with you?”
“No ma’am those are actually my neighbours’ roosters”

I think it’s so cute that planets have moons

FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 1965: After five years and seventy million dollars we have invented a new type of plastic that prevents communists from being able to climb ladders too fast
FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 2025: My cure for cancer was shelved because it might benefit Hispanics

i love that they put a bullet proof vest on mangione as if a) he's under any danger at all and b) it wouldn't make him look like 300% hotter

When I applied for emergency funding at my prestigious university because I had been life alteringly sick for a year I was told it didn’t qualify as a an emergency 😇 there is no safety net ☺️

My Bluesky feed is almost all in German, how do I fix this lol

I hate that Canada being dragged into a trade war and threatened with annexation is making me have to become a grudging patriot.
I’ve always felt super alienated by the image of ‘Canadian’ that has been pushed my entire life, I hate the corny beaver memes, and I think our flag lacks panache.

lucky me with children who love each other so

Last night at a party I ran into a guy I dated when I was 21 and we had a nice interaction and he asked how I was and I said “I’m a lesbian!” And he said “wow I’m so honoured to have dated you”

Sorry to everyone who hates snow 🥰

I’m in rehearsals for a play for the first time in 20 years, and a group process for the first time in 3. It’s so good to be performing again so I thought I’d look at some audition notices only to be reminded that everything is either hell or unpaid or both 😇

This app is turning out pretty good

devastated that I did not stitch rip this label out to keep it

This year I am going to be optimistic about non evil social media platforms 🕯️