Actually according to Wikipedia, the term "duck tape" is actually older. There's a fabric called cotton duck that can be cut into strips for securing things. Duct/k tape isn't made with duck fabric, but the name got applied to it anyway.

If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40.
If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

They were big when they were little

The truth is even stranger: The second half of the message is "Lick Your Car."

I heard a friend talking about how she gets really scared by creepy ghosts and so forth in video games and movies. A friend of hers then told her, "You are the WORST atheist." 😂

I've been male for [cough]ty-plus years and I still haven't figured it out.

It's like child-proofing the house, they still get in.

"Our Father, Harold be thy name ..."

It's good!

That is sofa king funny

I got a phone bill for $0.04 once. I sent them a check.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy Wuzzy lost his hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?

Friend in Ukraine, asking for help buying a power bank to deal with daily outages: I hate to ask for this because I want to be independent.
Me, sending help: It's hard to be independent when the sky is raining fire.

👆🏼 boop