With so much wrong in the world right now, we have to reflect on the good that still exists: titties.

You morons, you can't repeat the Gilded Age. That's not how history works--it only goes in one direction. Now let me take a big sip of coffee and make sure no nihilistic young Italians have built homemade weapons with which to assassinate robber barons.

This is NOT what America is about. America is about *opens history book*

uh oh

*Frantically starts flipping though pages*

uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh

The GOP devolving into what is basically a middle school bully operation makes a high school teacher the actual perfect counterfoil