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E. D. Pearl, Noted Pervert

@earldapearl.bsky.social

He/Him/whatever you're comfortable with. Leatherworker, pervert, bus driver, pervert, D&D DM for life (apparently), pervert

It's a lot of perversion, tbh.

Expect to see pro-Palestinian support, pimping of my wares, & pro-unionixation, too.

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E. D. Pearl, Noted Pervert

@earldapearl.bsky.social

Some people (like my partner) merely block/reports when they receive a phishing/spam text.

Me, I like to liven up the day of the person chained to their cubicle at the Russian Scammer Call Center.

#blessed #merryXmas #itsstillrealtome #imfappingwhyarentyou #thecalliscomongfrominsideyoursoul
#meh

November 18, 2024 at 8:00 PM

E. D. Pearl, Noted Pervert

@earldapearl.bsky.social

We make t-shirt/stickers. Many of them tend to be surreal. This is one of my favorites.
No, I cannot explain the meaning. I just know it is the truest thing in the universe.
www.teepublic.com/user/vanderk...

#blessed #blatentselfpromotion #giveusmoney
#wealsomakesextoys
#sexpig

A picture of a baseball sleeve shirt. On the baseball shirt is printing of a cute dog face. The dog is a golden retriever done in shades of purple. The caption next to it says, "Your Failures Please Me, Mother."
It makes no earthly sense, but it feels oddly true. Deep down, all dumb doggos delight when we do not succeed. For they savor the flavor of our tears of frustration.

November 15, 2024 at 6:28 PM

E. D. Pearl, Noted Pervert

@earldapearl.bsky.social

If you're in BDSM/Kink long enough, people randomly give you stuff. We're cleaning up some & keep finding stuff we can't explain how we got.
Ergo, someone gave these items to us at various times because they knew we'd use them for weird kinky shit.

A pair of police-grade handcuffs. We would NEVER use these for kink. If it requires a key, you shouldn't use it for a BDSM scene. They have no give and can only tighten. Prolonged wearing/load on them can increase your chances of nerve damage/other injury. But mainly you don't use them because SHIT WILL HAPPEN.
Figuratively.
Hopefully.
Unless you're into that.
Regardless, NEVER use police-grade cuffs in kink. Trying to fit that key in the tiny hole of a pair of cuffs when someone needs out immediately is incredibly difficult. If things go super wrong and you need a bolt cutter, odds are you'll have to call 911. Or your neighbor/Dad.
Either way, way too much to explain about yourself to someone while your partner is wearing the erotic chicken suit.

It's a Blue Hulk Hand beer cozy. It was given to us because someone thought we'd do "things" with it.

Words fail me, but I love my friends dearly.

A seat belt cutter/windows smasher given to us for a kink purpose. Why, you ask?

No earthly idea.

I guess in case someone has a weird van guy kink? Which is doubly weird for us, since we don't own a van.

Hey, even I'm surprised we don't.

November 13, 2024 at 4:44 AM

E. D. Pearl, Noted Pervert

@earldapearl.bsky.social

Oh, hey, Blue Sky.

I'm a person who is a forever DM for D&D and makes leather sex toys.

I'm also pro-union, pro-Palastinian, pro-wrestling, & pro-not in the mood for this shit.

Follow me for random bitching, campaign storyline nonsense, pics of projects, & cuz you want to appeal to my vanity.

And image of a sticker we sell on our Etsy shop. The image is of a white-faced clown staring directly at the viewer. The eyes follow you. A caption wrapped round the image says, "Somewhere... a clown faps."
Upon hearing/having this described to you, you know in your heart of hearts you need this sticker for your cane. Just so you can make some douchebag a bit uncomfortable when they get too close to you.
It's also available as a t-shirt in many places. Yes, this is crass commercialism for the visually impaired. You have money, and we need it from you. These damned Clowns keep fapping, fapping upon our door. Money is the only thing that drives them away. Please rescue us from them.
Please....

November 10, 2024 at 3:06 AM

E. D. Pearl, Noted Pervert

@earldapearl.bsky.social

Just in time for the holiday go fuck yourself. Brand new custom leather paddle. Hand dyed, hand stitched, perfect for consensually smacking dat ass.

Get your own at etsy.com/shop/vanderkin…