Ah could almost masturbate to this but my top is too hot. The little annoyances distract me but my horniness subsided so let’s get out of bed

Banded nipples should be flogged, bare ass paddled lightly but relentlessly. I shall spread my legs a but so that the paddle gets coated with my juice. No touch on clit, no squeezing your legs- spread them. Hump for air. Get flogged on pussy. Use your throat while nipples are twisted. Submit to me.

But if we go see a movie he should play with my nipples the entire time then have me beg to give him a bj then spank the hell out of me and just cycle thru nipple play, spanking, and bjs until my juice is flowing down my thighs. Well you are not that wet? Then why would I penetrate you keep sucking.

It was exactly one month ago when you verbally abused me. Now that I know the pattern I am not playing your game. My anxiety ticked up, but I won’t give in. It is your issue; you deal with it. I have put up with you for way too long.

I do not believe a word you say. Do not so profusely thank me. I know what you are dying to know is whether I am bringing him home or not. I am not giving a straight answer and you could not pry anymore. You are anxious and covering that up with appreciative words do not earn my trust at all.

And it also depends on the dynamic of the parties involved. Bf is very attentive ("You don't have to ask me twice") and now knows my body better than I do in a way. So he can work magic on me. This kind of pleasure was totally new to me until May 2025, and now I have it regularly. Kudos to myself!

I have spend the past four days with him at his place and everything was so easy. It was a lot of fun and indulgence. Came back to places where I have conflicts, and I feel myself just shrinking out of habit. He is much better connected and perhaps a bit more outgoing, which helps me. Let me go up.

I don’t think I have high pain tolerance, and I don’t have to be pushing that. Just enjoy however much is pleasurable for me- it’s not a competition or mission. All in good fun. Experiment but do not set a goal to accept more pain.

For the longest time I believed my “healthy” self won’t indulge in twisted kinks. Slowly learning all of that is me and when I can accept that and let go of impulse to control I would actually be free and joyful.

He did own research and decided against studs (maple is hard enough) and holes (at 2’, gravity will do the work anyway). I am not up for blood or even deep bruise but it would be fun to explore just how much of a sore bottom I can take. Unlike my fwb he isn’t afraid to hurt me for my pleasure.

Me without a lot less shame + partner who is attentive and loving = amazing results. He is a fast learner as well. When I first met him I was really on the fence on the sexual front but oh man he delivers (with half a dose of a generic Cialis). Now I understand how adults play.

Now I understand one book where the author asserted the g-spot is only detectable when aroused. Yes mine is. And when properly aroused I can ride an edge almost forever and can come multiple times in a row without getting into a refractory period. I might even come from penetration (!!)

My coach pointed out I cannot carry 15 years worth of baggage around- not much more without overexerting myself anyway. How to create a happier time for everyone, is on my agenda now.

And the bonus is that now I really know how toxic the relationship was with my ex. Learning can be painful but very eye-opening.

Two weeks ago was my first time doing some lunges so I was quite sore. I did not tell him about it so whenever he was grabbed my ass hard I was in pain. I want that again tomorrow. I may actually need to lift some weights if I want to avoid having to do too many reps.

The first time we tried (which was last weekend) due to the position I got spanked a lot on the top part of my butt. That’s gotta change. It should hurt to sit down for a couple days at least. I’m not up for a lot of pain, but when it’s just enough it activated interoception and that feels so good.