No, Trump. You are completely allowed to sell US cars in the EU, but no one wants them. They're too big, too polluting and cost too much in fuel. Fix that, and they'll get bought.

The state of the world is so distressing that friends and beloved companions are such an important part of our wellbeing. Lucas is such a good boy cos he doesn't like water so baths are a chore for him, but he accepts them and is very well behaved. This is after his first in 5 months due to his...

So excited for this to arrive. I first met Anna when I worked at Battersea Arts Centre and she is a wonderful person. And then she published her first book and it was one of the best I've ever read; I don't think a book had ever moved me to tears before. Everyone I've recommended or gifted it to...

Even Nigel Fuckrage hasn't quite descended to Nazi salute level, but give it another 24 hours...

Noel Coward Theatre, Londaaaaan

When even the dog on your lap has decided to turn away...

Tom is one of the most wonderful people on the planet.

Mr Lynch. One of the few individuals for whom the word iconic is accurately attributable

If you're struggling with transport today, storms, general malaise, whatever, here is a picture of a dog supremely contented with his lot because he has a bed and a fleecy blanket. I am now going to spend some time being like Lucas and appreciating the comfort of this moment.

Always have some appropriate Christmas decorations for your tree...

Don't tell me I don't know how to have a good time!

There is no dog to see here.

After a morning of telling me off every time I lifted him for stairs, bed, chair, he has dozed off in my lap like a wee furry angel.

He has to be carried every time he would use his back leg as it's still got 4 weeks' recovery from ligament surgery.

In the last weeks of November I have one freesia just about hanging on to life.

Oh baby. The dense chocolate loaf cake is minutes from perfection

Also, please pretend my oven is pristine and beautiful inside, and not covered with the history of every dish ever cooked in it.

Dinner party with only celebs that share your birthday - 16th August

I mean, this is a gift, right?

What I'm looking at right now

Last night I went to the 50th Birthday Party at Battersea Arts Centre. I worked there in various capacities for 14 years up until COVID, made some of the best friends, and had my experience of theatre expanded exponentially by utterly incredible artists.

This is my little man Lucas. He's a big fan of fleecy blankets, toys, zoomies, sticks, being rubbed by human feet, and chasing planes.