Why is Martha Stewart the new Betty White?
August 20, 2023 at 4:21 PM
Why is Martha Stewart the new Betty White?
Why do so many things smell like a penguin exhibit?
August 11, 2023 at 7:23 PM
Why do so many things smell like a penguin exhibit?
My favorite breakfast is a handful of antidepressants followed by a swallow of last night’s wine.
August 7, 2023 at 3:34 PM
My favorite breakfast is a handful of antidepressants followed by a swallow of last night’s wine.
I’ve read 15 books on the last 2 weeks. Yes, they were all smut. No, I will not be taking further questions.
August 7, 2023 at 2:43 AM
I’ve read 15 books on the last 2 weeks. Yes, they were all smut. No, I will not be taking further questions.
Me: *introducing my sister to my new favorite song*
Partner: *glares at me because they fucked me to that song last night*
Partner: *glares at me because they fucked me to that song last night*
August 7, 2023 at 2:39 AM
Me: *introducing my sister to my new favorite song*
Partner: *glares at me because they fucked me to that song last night*
Partner: *glares at me because they fucked me to that song last night*
Hit my weed pen too hard in the car and almost barfed.
August 5, 2023 at 5:14 PM
Hit my weed pen too hard in the car and almost barfed.
My teeth: You can’t sit with us Tom!
Tom (a sperm): oh.okay.
Tom (a sperm): oh.okay.
August 5, 2023 at 12:13 AM
My teeth: You can’t sit with us Tom!
Tom (a sperm): oh.okay.
Tom (a sperm): oh.okay.
Oops I accidentally called my mother for advice.
August 4, 2023 at 11:56 PM
Oops I accidentally called my mother for advice.
Reposted by M
give me the bleach boy pour down my throat \
get my insides clean im gonna swallow soap
get my insides clean im gonna swallow soap
August 4, 2023 at 11:07 PM
give me the bleach boy pour down my throat \
get my insides clean im gonna swallow soap
get my insides clean im gonna swallow soap