That guy who rates restaurants?

In Philly you would have been like unto a God

Jasper Fforde's Early Riser is about exactly this and - zombified Carmen Miranda aside - your argument has its merits

Casting Director: So who do you want to play Bruce Wayne
Tim Burton: Get me that hot guy from Beetlejuice
CD: I've got Mr. Baldwin's info right here and....
Burton: What!? No! I said the HOT one

That's awesome! I miss nyc theatre so much that I'm building a stage in my backyard for my toddler and her friends

Honestly thought this was a Steve Martin line

Watching the Super Bowl halftime with my mother-in-law.

"I can't understand a word he's saying. Let's re-watch this after I look up the lyrics so I can properly appreciate it"

Reading Inherent Vice right now after having only read Crying of Lot 49 and dude has a voice

Finally a way for insufferable assholes to leave the city for the suburbs!

Like a municipal rec center?

My deal with my kid is I'll eat any non-meat food you put in my mouth if you do the same and now other parents are inviting us to dinner hoping her gusto for food rubs off on their picky eaters.

It has it's obvious(and not so obvious) downsides but it's worked for us

Having to manage his ego all day gives me a new appreciation for what my wife went through when she was working

My foreman is big on the compliment/negging combo

"You're so organized. That's why you're so good with the blueprints. You're just not built to be an installer"

Motherfucker, no one would ever call me 'organized'. I've just got more experience with this exact system than you or anyone you ever met

I'll guess it's for ensuring they buried the nuclear waste deep enough under the children's playground

Why is it leaking?

I wonder if this will finally get my in-laws to play a different game

Jackass-O-Lantern

It's interesting work that I'm naturally skilled at, but the commute is god-awful and the foreman is deaf but he pretends not to be. I can't just quit because I'm shop steward and there aren't many guys in my local who could replace me here, but its going to be a long 2-3 years

I remember them airing the 2 episodes out of order too. So that the first episode was a clip show