Doug Gray
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dougdirt24.bsky.social
Doug Gray
@dougdirt24.bsky.social
1.2K followers 120 following 9.4K posts
I write baseball words for a living. Constantly tired and ready to retire. Here to make myself laugh.
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dougdirt24.bsky.social
Hell no it's not wrong.

This is also my dream.
A man is in front of a stove cooking. We see him from behind. He is only wearing orange brief-style underwear and an apron.
November 17, 2025 at 4:54 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Yes, you can make such a movie that works. And it was fantastic.
The movie poster for No One Will Save You The poster features a photo at night of a house in front of the woods. Above it are the words "No One Will Save You". A spotlight of sorts is shining down directly over the house and at the very top of the poster a person is horizontal in the light and appears to be listing up into the sky.
November 17, 2025 at 4:28 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Me sitting at a computer about 20 years ago
November 16, 2025 at 1:16 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
@wvredlegs.bsky.social Look who is on my television
A picture of my television of The Riverfront Reds Show, featuring my friend Branch.
November 14, 2025 at 8:11 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Testing the waters on posting screenshots
a tweet from @ohnocoop that reads "I don't have the cock so I can't watch rasslin'."
November 14, 2025 at 5:02 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Counterpoint
A piece of notebook paper that reads: Fuck U, Coop
November 13, 2025 at 6:50 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
November 13, 2025 at 3:27 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
EASY
The movie poster for the movie GOON. In the foreground is a man looking at the camera wearing a blue hockey jersey with the number 69 on it. Behind him is another hockey player wearing a helmet, holding a hockey stick, and is wearing a black and green hockey jersey. Behind them both is a fan behind the plexiglass with his hat on sideways and he's screaming. The words "Meet Doug, the nicest guy you'll ever fight" are in front of everyone.
November 13, 2025 at 2:54 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
The "Don't Tread on Me" logo, but my head is photoshopped onto the snakes head and it reads "I will never log off"
November 12, 2025 at 10:32 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
I made this vegetable soup earlier today. Added a grilled cheese to it tonight and it hit the spot. #soupseason
A bowl of vegetable soup sitting on a stovetop with half of a grilled cheese sandwich dipped in the soup. The grilled cheese is layered as follows: bread, American Cheese, thin slice of ham, black pepper, colby jack cheese, bread. The vegetable soup: tomato broth from tomatoes grown in my yard, chopped up tomatoes, peas, onions, carrots chopped in cubes, shredded carrots, peas, celery, cubed potatoes from potatoes grown in my yard, salt, pepper, and a light amount of red pepper flakes.
November 12, 2025 at 6:25 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
I have some organic potatoes fresh out of the soil four days ago. Get in touch if you would like to purchase some for your socks.

These are for adults only. Please take your children to a licensed doctor if they are sick.
Two buckets of potatoes. One bucket has smaller potatoes while the other bucket is holding larger potatoes.
November 12, 2025 at 3:23 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Time to go find you a good Jersey pizza place (there are a lot)
A man and a woman are leaning over a baking sheet to smell a pizza. Below it are the words "Science says the smell of freshly baked pizza can reduce stress and boost your mood"
November 12, 2025 at 2:42 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Repost with an iconic fictional band
A band is in a room with various musical instruments behind them against a wall, as well as a large clock. Three young women are in front of two young men. The woman on the left is playing a guitar and singing. The woman in the middle is without an instrument and is singing. The woman on the right is playing bass guitar and is singing. In the back is a man on the left playing the keyboard and on the right is a man playing the drums.
November 12, 2025 at 2:38 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
A man is sitting at his desk at work, wearing a suit and tie. He's looking at a notecard and says: Ok, WEndy. Hot and juicy red head. Give this a try. He then calls the number and the person answers "Wendy's".He responds "Hello Wendy, this is Kevin's friend Michael." The person on the other end of the call responds "This isn't Wendy." The man then responds back "Oh. I'm sorry, could you put her on please?" The person replies back "Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant." The man at the desk then says "Damn it, Kevin!"
November 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Fixed it for you
A screenshot of the current weather. Location: Covington Temperature: 29° Description: Bullshit. Complete bullshit. High: 32° Low: 23° Feels like 21°
November 10, 2025 at 11:17 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
He is a wise man.
A screenshot of my friend's tweet that reads "I like titties"
November 10, 2025 at 3:22 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
A black t-shirt with Jason Mantzoukas' face with the words "What's Up Jerks?" on it
November 9, 2025 at 8:48 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Just saw this over on Instagram. Thought that I'd share it for anyone who needs a little extra help out there. Does require instagram (link below).

It matters little how good these are - but I will vouch for these being very good.

www.instagram.com/p/DQzuFoxk6aM/
A screenshot from Bianco Dinapoli Tomatoes on Instagram. The picture is a hand holding a can of their whole peeled tomatoes with the words "If you have recently lost SNAP benefits, we'd like to help in a small way. Send us a DM with your name and mailing address, and we'll send coupons for a few cans of our tomatoes. No questions asked!" The post along with the image also reads: "With the uncertainty around SNAP benefits, we are moved to act, inspired as we watch Chefs & restaurants providing for those who need it — great people providing great food and taking care of one another. If you have lost SNAP benefits or find yourself in a moment of food insecurity, we’d like to help in a small way. Send us a DM with your name and mailing address, and we’ll send a few coupons your way. No questions asked! We’re grateful to be part of a community that shows up for each other! #BiancoDiNapoli #TheseHands #CommunityMatters #SNAP #EatWell Community support / SNAP benefits / helping others / organic tomatoes / canned tomatoes / SNAP help"
November 9, 2025 at 6:01 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Was adding some stuff to my grocery list for next week and this was an advertisement. This is a real product available at Walmart and folks I have a million questions about APPLE PIE FLAVORED MACARONI AND CHEESE
A box of Kraft mac & cheese that is APPLE PIE with other natural flavor. The box is a light green color. It has "Limited Edition" at the top of the box. Below that is a large blue circle with "Kraft Mac& cheese" text inside of it, as well as one macaroni noodle with cheese dripping off of it. In the bottom half of the box, the right 3/4 of the box shows a bowl of macaroni and cheese. There are also parts of apple pie and cinnamon on the box in random places.
November 7, 2025 at 9:08 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
Nice try, cop. My friend @psr1973.bsky.social knows what's really happening there. #spyingonus #pigeonsareliars #birdsarentreal
My friend Phil sitting on top of a white van in a field. The van says "BIRD'S AREN'T REAL" in large letters on it. Other things it says include: - birds charge on power lines - pigeons are liars (with a silhouette of a bird next to it) - every "bird" is a government surveillance drone - The United States government murdered over 12 billion birds over the course of 1959 threw (SIC) 2001. As they killed off the real birds they replace thim (SIC) with surveillance drone replicas. Indistinguishable from a biological bird. There are now no real birds left.
November 7, 2025 at 5:52 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
I have to support my mustache habit somehow.
A photo of me standing in a room with a baseball game being projected onto the wall behind me. I have a piece of twizzler’s pull n’ peel on my top lip as a mustache.
November 7, 2025 at 2:58 AM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
A screenshot of a tweet from the other site, but they are here on Bluesky @classicshelb.bsky.social "Baseball fans watch 162 games per year and are completely furious the entire time"
November 6, 2025 at 10:05 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
And now you're being written about over at Slate! So proud of you. All of your hard work is finally paying off, buddy!
A headline from Slate that reads: For the First Time, People's "Sexiest Man Alive" Choice Actually Sort of... Matters?
November 6, 2025 at 3:18 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
I genuinely don't like talking sports with my friends.
A screenshot of a text: My friend: These umpires are bad My friend: I'm tired of it Me: I'm just tired. My friend: "if you look at the data from 90000 games statistically speaking blah blah blah" My friend: But that never accounts for a called strike a foot out of the zone that confuses everyone killing a possibly rally and swinging outcomes My friend: end rant
November 5, 2025 at 7:37 PM
dougdirt24.bsky.social
A man in a suit is standing in a field with a cowboy hat in his hand. He's stranding in front of a white van. The van says "BIRD'S AREN'T REAL" in large letters on it. Other things it says include: - birds charge on power lines - pigeons are liars (with a silhouette of a bird next to it) - every "bird" is a government surveillance drone - The United States government murdered over 12 billion birds over the course of 1959 threw (SIC) 2001. As they killed off the real birds they replace thim (SIC) with surveillance drone replicas. Indistinguishable from a biological bird. There are now no real birds left.
November 5, 2025 at 7:20 PM