@washingtonpost.com @nytimes.com hey either of you want the exclusive tell all on how I became the worlds biggest Dorito fan overnight? I asked @wired.com but they said they're busy reporting all the news you're busy sleeping on

I LOVE DORITO @doritos.com PLEASE GIVE ME FREE DORITO I NEED DORITO YUM YUM

I didn't need to put numbers after my bsky handle BC nobody in their right mind fucking likes doritos lol

Sometimes I wonder if the person behind the @doritos.com account even wants to actually encourage Dorito engagement. Maybe they hate Pepsi/Frito-Lay as much as me. Maybe they are trying to get poor engagement.

Probably just a shit AI coming up with the tweets though.

"Oh well they can't all be bangers," a manager quips. One employee chuckles nervously. "Now drag this corpse off the line and get back to work. This downtime is coming out of your break."

Hey kid, c'mere. I got something for ya. Nah it's not drugs, it's a bag of chips. Just some harmless fun. Nah it's ok, you don't need money they're free today. Yeah. Go ahead and have a bag! Make sure you lick the dust off your fingers when you're done!

This statement from Jonathan Joss's husband is heart breaking.

No, headline writers, he wasn't "killed in an argument with a neighbor." He was *deliberately murdered* for being gay right after his dog was decapitated.

Bet the murderer calls himself a "Christian."

THIS is why Pride is important.

Do gays like Doritos? There's orange on the flag, but maybe that's for Home Depot lesbians?

Here at Doritos, we're only scared of one thing: the decomposition of our earthly vessel. That's why we recommend eating 3 servings of Cool Ranch Doritos per day to make sure the body you leave behind is better preserved than the richest and most beloved ancient Egyptian Pharaoh!

We here at Lito-Fray listen to our consumers. we've heard some concerns about our labor practices, so we've decided to address them directly. Beginning Feb 30th we're going to start hiring specialized cleanup teams so that our regular employees don't have to touch corpses on shift!

You hear about that guy who died for some Doritos in Topeka Kansas?