Drunk lads on the valley train loudly arguing about musicals and their movie adaptations.

Just had an Uber driver tell me that I’d have an easier time in the film industry if I got chat GBT to write scripts and ai voices perform them. Art is dead

“You look like the movie Paul”
-someone I’m on a date with

🎶 The weather outside is frightening, my favourite character in Cars is Lightning (McQueen) 🎶

Never done this well on Whamageddon

🎵 ooh baby do you know what that's worth

"Hennimore it's vital I stay alert during this meeting so I'll need you to bring me my caffeine pills halfway through they're in a white bottle with a blue lid. On no account should you confuse them with my sleeping pills which have a blue lid & white bottle. I'll just leave them on this lazy Susan"

I wanna die like Jesus. Kissed by a man then killed by the cops.

What happened to the gingerbread women?

Can you imagine if someone described themselves as being “over the weather”?

Autism coded John Wick: He kills 100s of people cause they stole a cool looking rock he found once and has way too much sentiment for.

*pointing at myself* “Is this guy bothering you?”

Gonna just shamelessly post some of my old tweets so this account looks used