Diane Patterson
@dianepatterson.bsky.social
She/her. Novelist, writer, fan of amaro. Stanford, USC, Seton Hill. Has no idea what’s going on but will probably get a degree in it. Trans rights are human rights. Lives in three places (CA, NYC, her own mind). Needs another cup of coffee, back soon.
With alt text
December 5, 2025 at 12:51 PM
With alt text
Yes, and the first thing to go wrong was buying a ticket on United Airlines.
December 2, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Yes, and the first thing to go wrong was buying a ticket on United Airlines.
Welcome to Mamdani's New York
November 30, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Welcome to Mamdani's New York
After a couple of days spent in the cleanest urban environment I've been in for some time — the French Quarter!!! — I am 100% Team IV Waste.
November 9, 2025 at 2:42 PM
After a couple of days spent in the cleanest urban environment I've been in for some time — the French Quarter!!! — I am 100% Team IV Waste.
In case it hasn't been said often enough, fuck this guy.
November 7, 2025 at 7:25 PM
In case it hasn't been said often enough, fuck this guy.
Danny Strong has done an amazing job making the current "Chess" fantastic! (I saw the original in 1986 in London and was disappointed.)
November 1, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Danny Strong has done an amazing job making the current "Chess" fantastic! (I saw the original in 1986 in London and was disappointed.)
Par-tay in Brooklyn!
October 28, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Par-tay in Brooklyn!
And on the fifth anniversary of me sitting down on the sofa during lockdown and saying, "What the heck, why not," my watch has ended. (So annoying how it's gone to crap.)
October 24, 2025 at 11:59 PM
And on the fifth anniversary of me sitting down on the sofa during lockdown and saying, "What the heck, why not," my watch has ended. (So annoying how it's gone to crap.)
Sign of the times
October 18, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Sign of the times
Sign of the times
October 18, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Sign of the times
Enjoying the bounty of the city
October 16, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Enjoying the bounty of the city
I sent a message to a European vendor I had bought something from to confirm that I had, in fact, received it. Their response:
October 16, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I sent a message to a European vendor I had bought something from to confirm that I had, in fact, received it. Their response:
I can’t understand why the Washington Post is losing subscribers
October 14, 2025 at 5:11 PM
I can’t understand why the Washington Post is losing subscribers
Yes, I gave @theonion.com money to see their little film, “Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.”
October 2, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Yes, I gave @theonion.com money to see their little film, “Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.”
The matches haven't even started yet and I've already gotten kudos for my cap. #TheWarOnCars
August 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
The matches haven't even started yet and I've already gotten kudos for my cap. #TheWarOnCars
Don’t threaten me with a good time
August 29, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Don’t threaten me with a good time
That's right, folks: it's time for another chance to Renew! It's Carousel time.
August 10, 2025 at 1:44 PM
That's right, folks: it's time for another chance to Renew! It's Carousel time.
Dear Democrats: in case you’re wondering why I’ve suddenly started deleting your texts wholesale, it’s because you refuse to move to the future or even try to fight.
August 8, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Dear Democrats: in case you’re wondering why I’ve suddenly started deleting your texts wholesale, it’s because you refuse to move to the future or even try to fight.
Promise or threat?
August 3, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Promise or threat?
My GOD in NYC walking down the street is just one hazard after another
July 19, 2025 at 10:58 PM
My GOD in NYC walking down the street is just one hazard after another
Don't threaten me with a good time
July 19, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Don't threaten me with a good time