DeuxCentCinq
@deuxcentcinq.bsky.social
My three favourite things are Oxford commas, irony, and missed opportunities.
Who’s forcing you to buy one? Tell us so we can fuck them up for you.
December 11, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Who’s forcing you to buy one? Tell us so we can fuck them up for you.
Or in a matching tracksuit.
December 11, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Or in a matching tracksuit.
I work at a secondary school. Someone wrote “Mark G smells” on the display board outside my office. Mark G is a lovely, slightly-SEN kid who does actually smell a bit. Even so, I added a “nice” to the end of it, matching the handwriting. It’s been there 3 years now.
December 10, 2025 at 4:20 PM
I work at a secondary school. Someone wrote “Mark G smells” on the display board outside my office. Mark G is a lovely, slightly-SEN kid who does actually smell a bit. Even so, I added a “nice” to the end of it, matching the handwriting. It’s been there 3 years now.
“…yeah. Not the way we do it.”
December 6, 2025 at 9:36 PM
“…yeah. Not the way we do it.”
Why do people submit rubbish like this? What’s in it for them to see their fake story published?
December 3, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Why do people submit rubbish like this? What’s in it for them to see their fake story published?
I used it to learn rudimentary Dutch for a holiday there last year. Worked well enough. And the French I do as just a reminder of my GCSE. I can hold a basic conversation with a French person, as long as they speak slowly.
November 28, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I used it to learn rudimentary Dutch for a holiday there last year. Worked well enough. And the French I do as just a reminder of my GCSE. I can hold a basic conversation with a French person, as long as they speak slowly.
As a city, it’s far too car-focused. It annoys me how long you have to wait once you’ve pushed the button. And how apparently zero drivers have heard about the “new” rule that you should let pedestrians cross at junctions. Cars speed around to the next red light with abandon. It’s so unwelcoming.
November 23, 2025 at 7:55 PM
As a city, it’s far too car-focused. It annoys me how long you have to wait once you’ve pushed the button. And how apparently zero drivers have heard about the “new” rule that you should let pedestrians cross at junctions. Cars speed around to the next red light with abandon. It’s so unwelcoming.
Exactly. It would just be won by whoever preferrred whatever setup the car chosen has.
November 21, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Exactly. It would just be won by whoever preferrred whatever setup the car chosen has.
Cat’s feet towel!
November 14, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Cat’s feet towel!
Take a wild guess how you make it…
November 13, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Take a wild guess how you make it…
Even better with a bit of bacon in there.
November 12, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Even better with a bit of bacon in there.
If I didn’t already have diabetes I would let this pie give it to me. It looks amazing.
November 12, 2025 at 9:52 PM
If I didn’t already have diabetes I would let this pie give it to me. It looks amazing.
Tim from the Office
November 12, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Tim from the Office
There is one very small bit of rocket science that is like. The bit where you have to work out how much rocket fuel to put in. And how much that will cost.
November 12, 2025 at 6:35 PM
There is one very small bit of rocket science that is like. The bit where you have to work out how much rocket fuel to put in. And how much that will cost.
Must have been private.
November 12, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Must have been private.
As someone who has always worn their watch on their dominant (right) wrist, I can tell you that no, it doesn’t pick up these activities as “movement”. It can tell the difference between your wrist and your body moving, unsurprisingly.
November 8, 2025 at 11:41 PM
As someone who has always worn their watch on their dominant (right) wrist, I can tell you that no, it doesn’t pick up these activities as “movement”. It can tell the difference between your wrist and your body moving, unsurprisingly.
When did we drop the “of” between “couple” and “hours”?
November 7, 2025 at 9:54 PM
When did we drop the “of” between “couple” and “hours”?
Almost, but not quite as obnoxious as “sammich”. I’ve literally ended a friendship as he insisted on calling them that.
November 7, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Almost, but not quite as obnoxious as “sammich”. I’ve literally ended a friendship as he insisted on calling them that.
The fact you think there was a Fairy Godmother in Snow White shows how bad our memories are.
November 1, 2025 at 11:15 PM
The fact you think there was a Fairy Godmother in Snow White shows how bad our memories are.
Best bread as well.
November 1, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Best bread as well.
I swear it always used to, until about 10-12 years ago.
November 1, 2025 at 11:08 PM
I swear it always used to, until about 10-12 years ago.
Later got in touch to say how much that meant to her, and how she resolved to find a “proper” job as she was miserable. She’s now very happy with a family of her own, and I’ve kept my promise never to mention it to them.
November 1, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Later got in touch to say how much that meant to her, and how she resolved to find a “proper” job as she was miserable. She’s now very happy with a family of her own, and I’ve kept my promise never to mention it to them.
The only time I’ve ever been to a strip club was on a stag do, a year after I left Uni. One of the girls was on my course, couldn’t find a job, resorted to stripping rather than moving back home to abusive mother. We chatted most of the night, she cried when I gave her £50 and didn’t want a dance.
November 1, 2025 at 8:06 PM
The only time I’ve ever been to a strip club was on a stag do, a year after I left Uni. One of the girls was on my course, couldn’t find a job, resorted to stripping rather than moving back home to abusive mother. We chatted most of the night, she cried when I gave her £50 and didn’t want a dance.
Someone did this in my student house, while I was on holiday, throwing out pans, plates, cutlery and a very expensive knife other housemates had “borrowed” from me while I was away. Came back to find it all gone, and an indignant housemate with zero remorse.
November 1, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Someone did this in my student house, while I was on holiday, throwing out pans, plates, cutlery and a very expensive knife other housemates had “borrowed” from me while I was away. Came back to find it all gone, and an indignant housemate with zero remorse.